woensdag 30 juli 2008

Dead End holidays with Osama/Obama airlines/ very cheap!

Back from BB land and full of fresh crap (whats new!), ready to replace your cold turkey with golden shots of addictive White Hot Blogs, who needs a shot of heroine when you can read this bullshit (better than needles in your veins at any time, although they do have addictive properties which, could lead either to demention or insanity. At least St.Jagged's blogs don't cause rotting teeth, terrible, shocking and very painful terminations in fact they can be quite medicinal when not used in overdosed proportions or for curing haemorides!).

Guess who's back, Jagged's back, yes, after two weeks of lazing around in the BB rain forests and avoiding cancerous sunrays (not too difficult in BB land) St.Jagged has returned and is full of the latest happenings which, could well have altered mankinds path to oblivion over the past two weeks, i.e:

Obama in Israel, Palestine (well quick five minutes and out of that shithole!) Berlin (ICH BIN EIN BERLINER!! right colour wrong time, should have said that in 1938, welcome to fucking Auschwitz!), Paris, and last not least, jolly ol London Town, centre of the universe, and a must for all up and coming world leaders to shag (oops, sorry, shake hands with) the Queen, shag (oops, sorry, shake hands with) Gordon Brown and tell the rest of the UK, " we need your troops in Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran, Lichtenstein (haven for laundering drug barons, Al Quaida, Mafia, etc, billions, must be worth starting a war for!) and wherever the US is fighting for upholding and creating, pure white or black, honest and very Christian based democracies." (Is he just a dark coloured version of ol Bushy Boy or is he really an extreme moslem terrorist who has infiltrated the Democratic party, posing as the reincarnated M.L.King, will win the next US election, turn the ol US into an extreme Islamic republic and invite Bin Laden to be his new number 2? Hilary you're mega - out of the running for that position, although Big Bill's dick is still waiting to be sucked, "I never had sex with that women or Hilary, never," quote, unquote!!).

We True - Brits are not falling for any of that old crap, so Georgie (Mark 2) Brown promptly reassured Barack, "of course ol Bean, ol Chappie, we have Dads Army (minimum age 76 by the way!) in reserve and will send them post haste to those war zones and kick the fucking shit out of Talibans, Moslem Terrorists, stray dogs, dead rats, and any other muvva fucker who dare raises his hands against the might of the US/UK allied forces.

"We fucked Hitler and we will certainly fuck those bearded morons throwing first world war, antique Russian bombs at our high-tec equipped superior military forces."

Anyway, Obama has fucked off back to the US to shag (oops. sorry, shake hands with ol cowboy) Mr Mc Cain. Then cover his ugly, balding, grey haired, wrinkled head with a blood ridden Ku Klux Klan hoodie, tell him who the real superior race is and win the November showdown, surprise, fucking, surprise!
What else has happened in the last two weeks?

  1. Terrorist bombs here, terrorist bombs there, daily dose of horror on the ol Aljazeera Int.
  2. ("something's will never change", Bruce Hornsby's one mega hit from way back when!)

  3. Oil, food prices jacked up to record, exorbitant levels.

  4. The global poor, impoverished, and downtrodden get poorer and poorer whilst the "Fat Cats" are laughing all the way to their Lichtenstein banks (Jagged has mentioned this volatile war zone once already!)

  5. BP, SHELL, EXON, TEXACO etc, announce record multi - billion profits, WOW!!

  6. Mr "Golden Cohones" Sir (fuck off) Richard Brandson offers maiden flights to those "Fat Cats" creaming off their billion bonuses, on his brand new Space Toy at 250.000 bucks a flight and the "Fat Cats" gratefully accept, "peanuts actually ol chap," they chuckle in very posh Oxford/Cambridge accents (Mugawe studied there too!)

  7. Remember Space Shuttle STS-541-L (Lightning could strike twice if we're lucky, evil bastard!!!)

  8. The Bejing Shambolympics are about to be unleashed upon us, relying on a massive use of military force to keep the unclean at a distance, surpress all forms of protests against the Chinese parlament relating to abuse of human rights and shove anybody into "luxury" Chinese prisons who dare say BOO to the Chinese government, "oh what a very sporty affair indeed."

  9. Bla, Bla, Bla!

    Good news: Oh, ST.Jagged forgot; mega traffic jams everywhere, global warming, volatile weather attacking the planet (must be them fucking Aliens or Mr X, Mr Big or even, dare I mention him, GOD), Bushie Boy is one month nearer to his illustrious end, Ronaldo is staying at Man Utd (maybe).

    Last not least my adopted, half - starved, earthquake damaged, one wheeled rickshaw puller come Samaritan called WAN-KIN-DIK has been offered a job in Bejing pulling overweight, multi - millionaire olympic functionairies around in his earthquake damaged rickshaw for the duration of the "Shambolympics," I told him to "fuck off to China, earn his paltry wage, give St.Jagged 60% of his takings, return to the Jagged Residence (very posh, you know!) and serve the Merry ol Jagged Shaggers for the rest of his miserable, shitty life, and he agreed, good on you WAN-KIN-DIK!

    Faithful Jagged one's, have a happy package holiday in the cancerous sun and don't get your asses burnt off!!


    woensdag 9 juli 2008

    Multi Coloured Power

    Lucky muvva fuckers, holidays are just around the corner and St.Jagged, his merry ol Mrs.Jaggedone and juvenile horror (WAN-KING-DIK has to stay at home too look after St.Jagged's priceless millions of royalties earned since writing this crap!) are off too BB land.
    BB, where the fuck is BB you're all asking yourself?
    Well ignorant ones amongst you I'll give you a few tips:
    BB = Big Beers, BB = Big Boobs, BB = Big Bratwursts, BB = Big Breakfasts, BB = Big BMW's,
    BB = Big Bayern M√ľnchen, BB = Big Belly (when St.Jagged returns from his well earnt vacation!), BB = Big Bums (= too much beer and bratwursts), BB = Big Brauhaus, and last not least BB = Big Berge (Berge = Mountains for those not fluent in der Deutschen Sprache, clever arseholes!).
    Home of Kaiser AH (well nearly home, next door neighbour actually?) and many other famous Deutschers; Kaizer Frans, Kaiser Ludwig, Kaiser Wilhelm, Kaiser BMW, Kaiser German Beer, etc, etc, langweilig, langweilig, bla, bla, bla.
    St.Jagged thought he would treat you to a holiday special and the pictures above will give you arseholes an indication of what this majestic blog is about:
    Just recently there was some news coverage and mention of the coming aniversary of the infamous showing of black raised fists at the olympics in 1968, fuck on you N.....S! Tupac would be proud of you all!
    St.Jagged thought some thoughts abouts this and decided to examine the phanomenom of MULTI - COLOURED POWER or hating people of a different colour just because they are a different colour.
    To tell the TRUTH (here we go again!) St.Jagged doesn't give a shit if you're pink, blue, red, white, black, brown, alien colour (mostly green!), or whatever, as long as your honest and tell the TRUTH (well that narrows us down to my dog, cat, goldfish, my wife and kids (sometimes!!) Aljazeera Int. (fucking competitors in the world of telling the TRUTH) and my dead relatives, no point in them lying either except my Dad he was really a lying fuck!!), but there are some of you out there who certainly do!
    e.g. So called, Racist Groups:
    KKC for example, whiter than white, Black militants, blacker than black, Radical Red Indians, more red than tomatoes, Chinese/Taiwan Nationalists, mainland yellow against island yellow, Russian/Polish Skinheads, greyer than grey ( and thick as pigs shit), green universal activist Aliens, greener than green, Jewish SS, browny, yellowy, greyey (multi colour mix!), Palestinian Freedom Fighters, same as the Jews but without big noses and loads of money, The Blues Brothers, bluer than blue!
    South African/Zimbabwian (in fact all African Nationalists), blacker than black or the other minority mob living there, whiter than white. Mugabe (off coloured, black Nazi dictator) blacker than black and wanting to exterminate all the other not black enough blacks as long as they don't agree with him!
    Italien/Spanish/Greek/Portugese/Bask/Catalonian, radical, terrorist nationalists, slightly off coloured dark white, browny, creamy, cappuchino colour also Lazio Roma fans, same colour different approach (Nazi Style and no hidden bombs around their fucking balls!).
    National Front/NSDAP, Brit/German solidarity, whiter than white and showing more solidarity for the pure white Aryan Brotherhoods locked up in US prisons fighting against the Black/Hispanic, blacker than black and browner than brown racist gangs fighting for racial supremacy, monopoly drug dealing, and brutal, naked survival.
    Browner than brown radical Hindus fighting browner than brown radical Moslems in India/Pakistan/Bangladesh (oh for the days of peace and prosperity under the whiter than white, British Raj, ha fucking ha!)
    St.Jagged could go round this shithole called earth and make a list as long as his dick (no not WAN-KIN-DIK, filthy minded fuckers!), but you all know what he means.
    "Well," you Jagged ones are thinking, "what the shit is this braindead, muvva fucking moron trying to tell us all."
    ST.Jagged being a slightly off pink, beige colour is only trying to say the following:
    Before all of you do - gooding, HYPOCRITICAL anti - racists out there waving your banners and screaming for no - racism, maybe you should open your blind, very stupid muvva fucking eyes and brains, and accept the fact that racism exists everywhere and not only in
    St Jagged is off too BB land for a short break, he knows that you will all miss him and cannot exist without the burning pokers of TRUTH shoved up your arses. Sorry you will just have to survive until he returns from friendly, gastfreundlich, hygienic, clean, beer drinking and the very hilly, mountaineous land of the BB'ers.
    Goodbye from St.Jagged and his red duck, blue Tit, yellow WAN-KIN-DIK, pink panther, black sinister shadow, white than white cocaine, green Nazi Alien, multi - coloured psychedelic trips on LSD and so on.
    Happy holiday and don't judge a book by its colours!!!!!!