dinsdag 30 september 2008


Jaggedone's you must all be wondering what the fuck has happened to ol WAN-KING-DIK, well the pictures above will give you a rough idea!

Yes my beloved readership we have sent our earhtquake damaged, one wheel broken rickshaw pulling, half-starved chinese, adopted son, off to war to fight those corrupt muvva fucking Wallstreet investors who have caused the great, global, financial meltdown.

Over the last two months we have been feeding ol WAN-KING-DIK raw and very bloody meat, gallons of hormone fluids (exclusively given to us by gold winning, Olympiads, drugged up to their eyeball athletes, including MR. Big, Dwain "I never took drugs" Chambers and overdosed ex sprint anti - hero, very innocent, MR. Ben "clean as a whistle" Johnson and last not least Tour de France banned cyclists rehabing with Robby Williams, Amy Winehouse, WHO?, James "Metallica" Hatfield, no, no, St.jagged not him, he's as clean as a babies bum now, no sex, no drugs but plenty of heavymetal. Robert Mugawe and other VIP's wishing to keep out of the way of the Paperazzi's!) live pigs, dead sheep, cold bloodedly, slit at the throat goats (thankyou Muslims all around the globe for allowing us to slit their fucking throats whilst alive and kicking, Ramadan is over, Allah behold!!).

Fresh and very warm camels blood given to us by a group of nomads wandering the Sahara desert searching for lost Nazi treasures and only finding the bones of modern day, impoverished Africans trying to make it to Europe and perishing on the way because they had no money left to buy water (reasons for not having enough money; they invested all of their hard earned dollars into paying corrupt fucking people smugglers who never hold their promises anyway!).

Daily diet of rotting carcasses left over by the Foot and Mouth disease scandals, mothers milk given to us by ex - Russian women (what women, fuck off!!) shot - putters who swallowed so many male hormones to achieve gold that they forget they were women and motherhood and have donated their dried milk leftovers to WAN-KING-DIK to aid his "Spartanic"invasion.

Oh shit, St.Jagged forget one other very important donor, the Chinese bastard milk producers who have laced their products with a very lethal chemical called melamine, but promised St.Jagged this would work wonders for ol WAN-KING-DIK. It causes unnatural growth in certain areas (reduction of penis size but increase of testorone cells around the delicate areas), giving him inhuman strength and a disfigured image (similair to Tschernobyl victims) in his quest to singularly bring down the corrupt fuckers running the very corrupt financial shit hole called WALLSTREET.

Look above to see the fantastic, destructing, killing machine that ST.Jagged and his merry ol shaggers have created (Frankenstein was a "Poof" compared to this WAN-KING-DIK beast!)

This invasion is based upon the legend of the 300 Spartans defending Greece against a very poofy and "GAY" Tyrant, who led the Persian armies, conquered all of Asia but failed to defeat 300 (real men by the way!) Spartans, in his quest to conquer the rest of the world (ST.Jagged detects certain simularities here, Napolean, Adolf, Ghengis Khan, George Bush, Mussolini and the rest of the merry ol, some gay some not, dictators of the past and present).

WAN-KING-DIK is now on his his way, chained to his Trojan horse, whipped by a hundred Dominas dressed in black leather, high heeled boots and skimpy black leather underwear (kinky muvva fuckers, don't get too horny reading this epic story!), his skin being impaled, sown up, nailed, pearced, tickled and burnt buy Roman - look - alike guards who resemble the ones in that other epic tale of someone nailed to the cross years and years ago on a lonely hill in? St.Jagged only believes in thorough preperation and winning at all costs you know!

WAN-KING-DIK will secretly infiltrate the marble halls of WALLSTREET, he will then be unleashed upon those corrupt muvva fuckers wheeling and dealing with other peoples corrupt billions, he will destroy and obliterate the whole fucking shitty system and free the rest of the world from the clutches of the evil, greedy speculators. Give the worlds finances back to their rightful owners, the little people, taxpayers, you and of course ST.Jagged (obviously St.Jagged does demand, for his sacred efforts to save the world, a certain very small reward; couple of lousy billions, not much compared to what we all must pay to save the whole shit going floating off down the Hudson River!).

Thankyou, the glorious, brave (some headless by now!) 300 Spartans for giving St.Jagged the inspiration to conquer evil, UNTRUTH and corruption, which is so abundant amongst the powers that run the fucking show on our beautiful, blue planet.

Your legacy, you brave and unconquered Spartan race, lives on and only with your strength, gallantry, braveness and unwillingeness to buckle and surrender to the might and power of those who run our miserable lives can we rid the planet of this horrendous disease, GREED!
(Dedicated to all Spartanic people who refuse to accept the Status Quo!)

St.Jagged is just about to fuck off to the hills of Toscany with his two billion bonus, live the life of Larry and lock up his all - conquering prize fighter, WAN-KING-DIK in balls and chains, feed him a couple of chunks of Mozzarella and try to revert him back to his past being; a half - starved, earthquake damaged, broken - wheeled rickshaw pulling Chinese adopted immigrant who is devoted to the one and only crusader of the TRUTH, ST.Jagged!!

dinsdag 23 september 2008

Financial Meltdown and all that crap

Sorry my Jaggedone's but I've been too busy transferring my 50.000.000,00 dollars worth of stocks and shares (earn't by royalties writing this crap) from criminal investment banks and corrupt insurance companies over to gold, oil, copper, anything other than Lehman Bros, AIG or other global, multi - bankrupt, gangster organisations.

Well my avid readership, what a couple of turbulent weeks we've all been having on the world stock exchanges and investment banks, caught with their knickers around their ankles and throwing billions out of the window whilst trying to recover from the fucking mistakes that they made in the first place.

"What," you are all saying, "mistakes made by these outrageuosly overpaid (Mafia Mob members) investors, wheeling and dealing with other peoples money," how could they make mistakes, shock, horror, never!!

Well my beloved Jaggedone's, they fucking well downright did, and now they've got the world's financial markets and themselves in a right load of stinky ol SHIT!

Ah well nevermind, there's always you and me to bail the bastards out otherwise we'll all be right up the Kyber Pass, shooting our muvva fucking brains out and thinking where the fuck is my next piece of dry bread coming from and never mind the negative equity mortgage payments!!

While the perpetrators run off to their luxury villas, swimmingpools, Ferraris, Porsches, 5 star Michelin dinners, luxury golfing holidays and we get left behind to dish up the taxes that finance the whole "saviour operations". Whats fucking new!!!

The little, hardworking, taxpaying arsehole will always be there for the rich and famous by, either getting his balls shot off in the ludicrous wars that they love to participate in, or stealing our hard earned bread and butter to bail them out of the disasters that they always get themselves into, recessions, stock exchange crashes, wars, revolutions, etc, you name it, they do it.

The whole lot stinks of stinking fish and rotting corpses and fuck Viva La Revolucion, the little man always ends up footing the bill, whilst they all continue to live the lives that we all dream of, FUCK OFF!!!

Apart from the mega "Financial Meltdown" the wankers at the UN have decided to treat themselves not only to rich "Pussy" New York style, no, they have at last agreed to refurbish the useless UN fucking headquarters, which is about as much use as giving Viagra to a 105 year old dying cancer patient (God bless his soul!) to the pitiful amount of, hold your breath, 19 Billion fucking dollars!!!!

That money could have been spent on feeding half of starving Africa for a year, providing sanitary and clean water for the rest and some rice and corn thrown in. Oh no, the powers that be at the UN need their leather chairs, posh offices, "Pussy" at night and fancy dinners for the Diplomats whores!!

What a fucking world, whats new, we're all just a bunch of braindead morons as we watch the events unfold, know what these bastards are doing to us all and we just continue to put our XXXXXosses (not St.Jagged by the way!) on the ballot papers and let the crap continue.

From a ranting St.Jagged, WAN KIN DIK, his merry ol finance ministers and his mingy, flee bitten ravaging, foaming at the mouth, Pitbull Terrier (don't come within 500 metres of the St.Jagged residence, he'll bite your fucking arses off, tax collectors an all!!!)

Goodbye from the Wall Street sewers, St.Jagged is just about to feed the Hudson River rats with some dead corpses who decided to commit suicide, blew their brains out and dedicated their rests to ST.Jagged as a gesture of solidarity and admittance that they read the "JAGGEDEDGE TRUTH" much too late!!!

dinsdag 9 september 2008

Satanic Messengers of Doom

666, rot in hell and enjoy the demonic tales from the fiery depths of Satan's serpent infested cauldrons of evil and debauchery.

St.Jagged has been converted (or perverted) to the anti-christ preaching of those from the black, dark and evil side to our being, and never will he return to the "Christian" white and virgin - pure life, which (or fucking Witch) once ruled our most fabulous planet.

Yeah, yeah, it's the LSD, speed, crack, marijuana taking it's toll again and St. Jagged has been laid out for the last couple of weeks enjoying rehab with no one less than Mr Bo Jangles himself, Robbie "straight as a needle in a haystack" Williams.

"What," you are all asking yourself is the ultimate Prophet of Damnation (St.Jagged has just knocked the pretender to the crown of PRINCE OF DARKNESS, OZZY OSBOURNE, off of his dark throne because he's become too much of a goody goody, chumming to up with the Queen, Royalty and Bush and Co, Prince of Darkness my arse!!) fucking ranting on about this time.

Well fellow evil muvva fuckers, St Jagged has decided to exit the above surface, normal world and enter fucking hell instead. Greet ol Satan, offer my inner soul as a sacrifice, burn slowly on the stake, alongside, Adolf, Jesus, Stalin, Georgie Boy, Nero and the rest of the naughty boys suffering below in the sulphuric pits of Lucifers domicile. Be reincarnated as an evil muvva fucking Charles Manson lookalike, terrorise, rape, murder, cause acts of genocide and start an evil crusade to destroy the Earth, after all there's not that much difference between below and above is there?

"Fuck me, St.Jagged, you're in a shiny happy mood today, what the shit has caused you to convert (or pervert), become Satans Messenger of Doom and relinquish all of the TRUTH crusading, which you preached in the past." St.Jagged's innerconscience wakes up and attempts to persuade St.Jagged not to enter the fiery brimstones of Hell and change his mind before it's too late.

"Fuck off innerconscience, my decision has been made, my split, fiery and very evil tongue will be used to terrorise the planet and it's oh so innocent human inhabitants (and lick as much hot, evil pussy on the fucking way!), enough is enough."

"Satan and his Demons have devoured my "TRUTHFUL" being and thrown him to the maggots nest to join the rest of the evil muvva fuckers and the Crusades of Truth will burn in FUCKING HELL!!"
Sweating profusely, St.Jagged awakes with an almighty exorcist sword of Damocoles hovering above his head "Jesus Christ, what a fucking nightmare," ST.Jagged is bathed in cold sweat with his balls shivering between his skinny thighs and Mrs St.Jagged, snoring!

"Fuck me, it must have been that brand new Slipknot CD with all of those evil masks, cheddar cheese and too much red wine, which caused the fucking nightmare," sighs a relieved, sweaty, cold and very clammy, St.Jagged.

Still shaking St.Jagged turns to kiss his Mrs. St.Jagged on her sweet, soft, cream coloured cheeks and, NO OO OO OO OO!!! She turns, opens her yellow, goat shaped, Satanic eyes and whispers in a devilish whisper,"St.Jagged my dear, welcome to the TRUTH, you can check out any time, but you can never leave (thankyou fucking Eagle shitheads, Hotel California bullshit)!"
Fellow evil Satanists, ^666^ an all of that bullshit, from the Goatshead spiked upon the Jaggedone's Torso and his merry ol, very hot devilish Pussy Lickers.