dinsdag 30 september 2008


Jaggedone's you must all be wondering what the fuck has happened to ol WAN-KING-DIK, well the pictures above will give you a rough idea!

Yes my beloved readership we have sent our earhtquake damaged, one wheel broken rickshaw pulling, half-starved chinese, adopted son, off to war to fight those corrupt muvva fucking Wallstreet investors who have caused the great, global, financial meltdown.

Over the last two months we have been feeding ol WAN-KING-DIK raw and very bloody meat, gallons of hormone fluids (exclusively given to us by gold winning, Olympiads, drugged up to their eyeball athletes, including MR. Big, Dwain "I never took drugs" Chambers and overdosed ex sprint anti - hero, very innocent, MR. Ben "clean as a whistle" Johnson and last not least Tour de France banned cyclists rehabing with Robby Williams, Amy Winehouse, WHO?, James "Metallica" Hatfield, no, no, St.jagged not him, he's as clean as a babies bum now, no sex, no drugs but plenty of heavymetal. Robert Mugawe and other VIP's wishing to keep out of the way of the Paperazzi's!) live pigs, dead sheep, cold bloodedly, slit at the throat goats (thankyou Muslims all around the globe for allowing us to slit their fucking throats whilst alive and kicking, Ramadan is over, Allah behold!!).

Fresh and very warm camels blood given to us by a group of nomads wandering the Sahara desert searching for lost Nazi treasures and only finding the bones of modern day, impoverished Africans trying to make it to Europe and perishing on the way because they had no money left to buy water (reasons for not having enough money; they invested all of their hard earned dollars into paying corrupt fucking people smugglers who never hold their promises anyway!).

Daily diet of rotting carcasses left over by the Foot and Mouth disease scandals, mothers milk given to us by ex - Russian women (what women, fuck off!!) shot - putters who swallowed so many male hormones to achieve gold that they forget they were women and motherhood and have donated their dried milk leftovers to WAN-KING-DIK to aid his "Spartanic"invasion.

Oh shit, St.Jagged forget one other very important donor, the Chinese bastard milk producers who have laced their products with a very lethal chemical called melamine, but promised St.Jagged this would work wonders for ol WAN-KING-DIK. It causes unnatural growth in certain areas (reduction of penis size but increase of testorone cells around the delicate areas), giving him inhuman strength and a disfigured image (similair to Tschernobyl victims) in his quest to singularly bring down the corrupt fuckers running the very corrupt financial shit hole called WALLSTREET.

Look above to see the fantastic, destructing, killing machine that ST.Jagged and his merry ol shaggers have created (Frankenstein was a "Poof" compared to this WAN-KING-DIK beast!)

This invasion is based upon the legend of the 300 Spartans defending Greece against a very poofy and "GAY" Tyrant, who led the Persian armies, conquered all of Asia but failed to defeat 300 (real men by the way!) Spartans, in his quest to conquer the rest of the world (ST.Jagged detects certain simularities here, Napolean, Adolf, Ghengis Khan, George Bush, Mussolini and the rest of the merry ol, some gay some not, dictators of the past and present).

WAN-KING-DIK is now on his his way, chained to his Trojan horse, whipped by a hundred Dominas dressed in black leather, high heeled boots and skimpy black leather underwear (kinky muvva fuckers, don't get too horny reading this epic story!), his skin being impaled, sown up, nailed, pearced, tickled and burnt buy Roman - look - alike guards who resemble the ones in that other epic tale of someone nailed to the cross years and years ago on a lonely hill in? St.Jagged only believes in thorough preperation and winning at all costs you know!

WAN-KING-DIK will secretly infiltrate the marble halls of WALLSTREET, he will then be unleashed upon those corrupt muvva fuckers wheeling and dealing with other peoples corrupt billions, he will destroy and obliterate the whole fucking shitty system and free the rest of the world from the clutches of the evil, greedy speculators. Give the worlds finances back to their rightful owners, the little people, taxpayers, you and of course ST.Jagged (obviously St.Jagged does demand, for his sacred efforts to save the world, a certain very small reward; couple of lousy billions, not much compared to what we all must pay to save the whole shit going floating off down the Hudson River!).

Thankyou, the glorious, brave (some headless by now!) 300 Spartans for giving St.Jagged the inspiration to conquer evil, UNTRUTH and corruption, which is so abundant amongst the powers that run the fucking show on our beautiful, blue planet.

Your legacy, you brave and unconquered Spartan race, lives on and only with your strength, gallantry, braveness and unwillingeness to buckle and surrender to the might and power of those who run our miserable lives can we rid the planet of this horrendous disease, GREED!
(Dedicated to all Spartanic people who refuse to accept the Status Quo!)

St.Jagged is just about to fuck off to the hills of Toscany with his two billion bonus, live the life of Larry and lock up his all - conquering prize fighter, WAN-KING-DIK in balls and chains, feed him a couple of chunks of Mozzarella and try to revert him back to his past being; a half - starved, earthquake damaged, broken - wheeled rickshaw pulling Chinese adopted immigrant who is devoted to the one and only crusader of the TRUTH, ST.Jagged!!

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