dinsdag 9 september 2008

Satanic Messengers of Doom

666, rot in hell and enjoy the demonic tales from the fiery depths of Satan's serpent infested cauldrons of evil and debauchery.

St.Jagged has been converted (or perverted) to the anti-christ preaching of those from the black, dark and evil side to our being, and never will he return to the "Christian" white and virgin - pure life, which (or fucking Witch) once ruled our most fabulous planet.

Yeah, yeah, it's the LSD, speed, crack, marijuana taking it's toll again and St. Jagged has been laid out for the last couple of weeks enjoying rehab with no one less than Mr Bo Jangles himself, Robbie "straight as a needle in a haystack" Williams.

"What," you are all asking yourself is the ultimate Prophet of Damnation (St.Jagged has just knocked the pretender to the crown of PRINCE OF DARKNESS, OZZY OSBOURNE, off of his dark throne because he's become too much of a goody goody, chumming to up with the Queen, Royalty and Bush and Co, Prince of Darkness my arse!!) fucking ranting on about this time.

Well fellow evil muvva fuckers, St Jagged has decided to exit the above surface, normal world and enter fucking hell instead. Greet ol Satan, offer my inner soul as a sacrifice, burn slowly on the stake, alongside, Adolf, Jesus, Stalin, Georgie Boy, Nero and the rest of the naughty boys suffering below in the sulphuric pits of Lucifers domicile. Be reincarnated as an evil muvva fucking Charles Manson lookalike, terrorise, rape, murder, cause acts of genocide and start an evil crusade to destroy the Earth, after all there's not that much difference between below and above is there?

"Fuck me, St.Jagged, you're in a shiny happy mood today, what the shit has caused you to convert (or pervert), become Satans Messenger of Doom and relinquish all of the TRUTH crusading, which you preached in the past." St.Jagged's innerconscience wakes up and attempts to persuade St.Jagged not to enter the fiery brimstones of Hell and change his mind before it's too late.

"Fuck off innerconscience, my decision has been made, my split, fiery and very evil tongue will be used to terrorise the planet and it's oh so innocent human inhabitants (and lick as much hot, evil pussy on the fucking way!), enough is enough."

"Satan and his Demons have devoured my "TRUTHFUL" being and thrown him to the maggots nest to join the rest of the evil muvva fuckers and the Crusades of Truth will burn in FUCKING HELL!!"
Sweating profusely, St.Jagged awakes with an almighty exorcist sword of Damocoles hovering above his head "Jesus Christ, what a fucking nightmare," ST.Jagged is bathed in cold sweat with his balls shivering between his skinny thighs and Mrs St.Jagged, snoring!

"Fuck me, it must have been that brand new Slipknot CD with all of those evil masks, cheddar cheese and too much red wine, which caused the fucking nightmare," sighs a relieved, sweaty, cold and very clammy, St.Jagged.

Still shaking St.Jagged turns to kiss his Mrs. St.Jagged on her sweet, soft, cream coloured cheeks and, NO OO OO OO OO!!! She turns, opens her yellow, goat shaped, Satanic eyes and whispers in a devilish whisper,"St.Jagged my dear, welcome to the TRUTH, you can check out any time, but you can never leave (thankyou fucking Eagle shitheads, Hotel California bullshit)!"
Fellow evil Satanists, ^666^ an all of that bullshit, from the Goatshead spiked upon the Jaggedone's Torso and his merry ol, very hot devilish Pussy Lickers.

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