woensdag 16 december 2009

St.Jagged's non-fav musicians (Rappers) go GAY - BASHING, GOOD SO!

Fiddy certainly not GAY!
The great Tupac, NEVER!

EM, turning on Gays but prefers BASHING the MUVVA FUCKERS!

Hi my Jaggaloonies, Christmas is nearly upon us and St.Jagged has some glad tidings to share with you all.
Now as you all know St.Jagged is an avid Underground/Metal/Rock fan and really doesn't like RAP, OK, some bits YEAH, but not fucking many!!
Eminem had his day, 50 cent had one decent record, Tupac, Public Enemy, some good stuff even JZ's latest is not bad and Jagged's son Vincent writes some hot shit, apart from that, well they can all go and shoot themselves (which they often do!)!

Now St.Jagged wrote this piece of crap on the infamous http://www.thespoof.com/ site and felt very strong about some of the messages the latest generation of rappers is sending out.

At fucking last someone is standing up against the very GAY stranglehold that HOMO's have over the pop music/entertainment world including the very PINK entertainment press, their Bizarre reporters + the fact, the music/entertainment management industry is virtually run by GAYS!

OK, for some of you more tolerant Jaggaloonies, no prob, but St.Jagged sees a definite infiltration of GAYS in every aspect of "normal" daily life, politics, schools, religion anyway (paedo gay catholic priests, etc!) and thank God (who?) someone is taking a stand against this deviant lifestyle, form!!!

Here we go Jaggaloonies, enjoy it!

Super Rap stars, Trick Trick (Eminem's great friend), Beenie Man, Eminem himself (in the past) and other Rappers have been villified by the global "PINK" entertainment press (run by GAYS By the WAYS) for "outing" their views against "Gays"!

It's well known that the Crap-Rap-Hip-Hop-Scene is full of Gangsta's, hot sex, raunchy female butts and now the Rappers want to "BEND the very BENT" show-Biz world back to being "Hetro, Matcho and Straight"!

Those not interested in RAP but who are STRAIGHT will certainly feel this crap SCENE is at last doing something very positive.Basically their music stinks, their lyrics are reminiscent of five-year olds reading Jack and Jill, their image is of gun-toting, drug - dealing , multi-millionaire Morons who have no musical talent at all, rip-off bits of classic songs, add a few rhymes and flog them to their very misguided fans!

Gladly for every negative there is a positive: If Rappers can "BASH" the dominant, parasitic, "Gay Scene" running the pop/entertainment world, expose them for what they are, a bunch of LIMP WOOZIES, then Eminem and his mates should recieve the Grammy Awards for their outstanding work supporting "real MANkind"!

Jaggedone just rushed out and bought Eminems new one for 50 CENT!

Hope you all enjoyed my anti GAY-RAP-RANT , actually my ol mate and slave WAN-KIN-DIK has got me rather worried lately, he insists on wearing high-heels, mascara and fish net stockings, hopefully it's just a passing phase or has he been listening to that load of shit called "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" Transvestite bastards??!!

St.Jagged has just refused to buy his WAN-KIN-DIK a pink packet of condoms for Christmas!!!

woensdag 2 december 2009

St.Jagged is blasted away by a German Hurricane called RAMMSTEIN!

Well I've got a tale to warm the cockles of your hearts (and it's not Scotch Whisky) St.Jagged has been literally "BLOWN-A- FUCKING- WAY BY A TEUTONIAN HURRICANE!!"

There's not many things that excite this ol fart but last Monday in downtown Cologne, Germany, St.Jagged and his ol slave WAN-KIN-DIK were given a mega-nuclear-BLOW-JOB (we weren't on the mens toilets by the way!) (unfortunately not the women's either!).
Anyway, let's get down to serious business, RAMMSTEIN, RAMMSTEIN AND EVEN MORE RAMMSTEIN!!

For those who have never heard of these particular German gentlemen, they are a Kraut rock, industrial metal and MUCH MUCH more band!

Now ol St.Jagged has seen meny bands/shows in his lifetime, but these guys blow everything and everybody else into OBLIVION and St.Jagged was also blown into oblivion by the MAJESTIC MASTERS OF TEUTONIAN METAL/ROCK!!

Let me explain:

These Deutsche gentlemen are masters of the shocking, the beautiful, the marvellous, the wonderful, the horrors, the amazement, the TRUTH, etc, and that all in 2 hours!!!

They produce a Wagner opera, Les Miserables, Hitchcocks masterpieces, perfect metal/rock music, thrilling pyromania, you fucking name it, they fucking did it, GERMAN BRILLIANCE at it's very best.

They put every single other rock/metal/pop live show in their shadows and only the majestic Pink Floyd from way back when could have ever competed with these guys, UNBELIEVABLE!!!!

As you can see my Jaggaloonies, St.Jagged is still recovering from the experience and if any one of you maniacs ever get the chance to see these unbelievable artists live FUCKING WELL DO IT!!!!

St.Jagged will certainly be seeing them again and he cannot wait!!

Compliments to all of my German friends, you are UNBELIEVABLE TOO!!

Aufwiedersehen, bis bald und einen riesen Gruss an


vrijdag 20 november 2009

God alias Mother Nature speaks to St.Jagged, tells him to stop fucking about and divulge the real Ten Commandments!

Mother Nature alias God
God alias Mother Nature

God alias God alias Mother Nature!

Jaggaloonies, St.Jagged has a problem, GOD (who?) no not one of them false Gods in people's churches and fantasies, but the real one!

No Allah's, Buddhas, Hindu's, Christian Gods or whoever, these are seperatist gods created by mankind to exercise power over others!

This God is the real God, actually he or she has another name, Mother Nature!

Now this God has been having a chat with St.Jagged, told him to stop fucking about, do something uselful, write something decent and stop playing with his WAN-KIN-DIK !

Now Jaggaloonies, you're all asking yourself what this shit is about, well my devoted fans (3 of them), this is about the "TRUTH" and the following Ten Commandments were given to St.Jagged by God (who?) so he could tell to you lot (he knows we're fucking Loony the three of us!)

Here we go:

The Ten Commandments according to God alias Mother Nature as given to St.Jagged (not that pretender, Moses!)

1) Thou shallt not believe in false Gods, thou shallt believe in only one God, Mother Nature.

2) Thou shallt be honest, truthful, respect the aged, weak, sick and teach your children the same.

3) Thou shallt accept the fact that Mother Nature designed man and woman to be the only true partnership in life, all other deviants of this form are not the TRUTH. They should be accepted and tolerated (nature is not perfect and humans certainly aren't) but never should they be put on the same level as MAN and WOMEN.

4) Thou shallt condemn all forms of sexual activities with children, animals, etc + those who are physically forced into such deeds. Those who perpetrate such activities are sick, should be condemned and removed from normal society.

5) Thou shallt never worship those who live only for greed and power. Thou shallt reject such philosophies, only worship those who respect and devote their lives for the good in mankind.

6) Thou shallt support a NEW WORLD ORDER, forget the egoistic direction mankind has taken, reject the system, reject politicians, religious leaders and others only interested in their egoistic power games.

7) Thou shallt support a group of non-corrupt selected leaders made up of WISE OLDER MEN and WOMEN who have had balanced, experienced lives. They only can lead mankind back to what it really should be doing, living in harmony, peace and parallel to Mother Nature.

8) Thou shallt not kill, rape, torture, or harm anyone for the sake of selfish power and greed. Those who commit such crimes should be condemned and removed from normal society.

9) Thou shallt acknowledge the fact that to create a "healthy" society one needs control. This control should be exercised by controlling bodies appointed and funded by the people. The laws they are required to implement should be based solely upon human decency, respect for one another and nature including all species. These laws and regulations shallt be determind by the non-corrupt, selected leaders made up of the WISE OLDER MEN and WOMEN.

10) Thou shallt believe in the good of mankind and reject false evil (evil is a human creation). All financial, natural, technological, scientific , etc, resources created by mankind should be re-invested solely for the good of mankind and not egoistic projects of which are valueless to mankind.
No man, woman, child should ever starve have to die of thirst, curable sicknesses or be made forcibly homeless through wars, conflicts, etc.

God/Mother Nature has spoken and so be it!

If mankind rejects these commandments the world will end in a self-made apocalyptical disaster whilst Mother Nature will continue without the HUMAN RACE!

Fuck me, St.Jagged has just woke up from his nightmare and what the shit has he been writing?

Jaggaloonies it wasn't St,Jagged, just the hand of God (who?), I swear to tell the TRUTH and nothing but the TRUTH, My Sweet Lord, Jesus, it was a bad dream!!

Any comments or solidarity on the bullshit above mail to L.Johnson@hetnet.nl serious or otherwise!

Chou bambinos, see you all in Utopia!

maandag 16 november 2009

HO, HO, HO, Santa Jagged is about to spread his Xmas greetings to his Jaggaloonies!

Hetro Santa Jagged enjoying Christmas at last!
Evil Santa Claus not enjoying Christmas but the rest of the year!

Jaggaloonies it´s nearly there, Christmas, in all of it´s glory and as you all know Santa Jagged hates the bullshit!

But Santa Jagged has got a couple of surprises for my Loony following, my dead goldfish, mingy flea bitten mutt, skinny starved cat called POSH and me ol slave, mate and Chinese hero the one and only "Meaty, throbbing WAN-KIN-DIK" and his earthquake damged, one wheeled rickshaw, "pull you lazy bastard!!"

Well this masterpiece was first issued over at that infamous satiricial site called, well you all fucking know, THE SPOOF!

It´s the first of many relating to the "Chrissy Crap Bullshit" so fucking enjoy it:

Father Christmas alias Santa has given a world-wide exclusive interview from his Igloo somewhere in melting Greenland wishing to clear all doubts about his sexuality!

Santa invited Bizarre reporters from the Sun but they were to busy chasing Cheryl Cole and Jordan so Jaggedone decided to send his intrepid CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) reporter, WANKIN WALRUS (son of the Icelandic Banker "B(j)orn Korruptasson and BJORK, very screwed up Icelandic Singer) to the press conference, here his report:

"I Father Christmas am not a Paedophile, never was and never will be, in fact I'm TRISEXUAL!"
"I do love Kiddies bouncing on my lap and admit sometimes having hot flushes between my thighs but this is only due to my appearances in warmer countries."

"Actually, over the last 2000 years Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer and me have had several love affairs. In the dark, lonely days in my igloo we often find comfort and certainly need the body warmth."

"I also love my male Dwarfs, we kill time between January/December and packing presents by having kinky Gay sessions, but now I'm getting too old and bending so low has become a problem!"
"At Christmas time I become hetro and look forward to kissing, bedding and shagging half-pissed Mummies before I leave to go back to my daily life in the Igloo, HO, HO, HO!"
Frozen stiff, intrepid CIA reporter, Wankin Walrus, has relayed this special Santa "Outing" to the Spoof so Mums and Dads don't have to worry about sending their Kiddie-Winkles to Santa this year!
PS: Wikipedia definition of TRISEXUAL = Hetro + Homo + Beasto!

There you all go Jaggaloonies, Santa Jagged at his most pervy, kinky and look after those Kiddies!!

HO.HO,HO FROM SANTA JAGGED, see you all again before Chrissy, evil bastards!

woensdag 4 november 2009

George Bush makes comeback and the world nears 3rd world war!

Satan love's Italy and George!!
George loves Satan and Italy!!!

Ja, Ja, Ja, my beloved Jaggaloonies, he's landed, St.Jagged is home!

He's been to Berlin, the outer cyber universe, between his ears (wax an all) and now St.jagged is back for a short visit to throw some shit at the fans (NO, not my fans, real fans!)

Let ol St.Jagged tell you all the latest, WAN-KIN-DIK has starred in a western parody over on the http://www.thespoof.com/ as leader of a Chink 300 Spartan army, a superhero, got married, stopped wanking , got divorced and now he's back pulling St.Jagged in his rickshaw (where he belongs, slave bastard!), worth a read actually!

A goat was the only candidate to compete with President Kazair in Afghanistan, so they gave Kazair the title, cut the goats balls off and sent them to Obama!!

Crucifixes have been banned in Italien schools, Swastikas, stars in half circles (Islamic symbol), white/black power symbols, hammer and sickles, jewish stars, etc, are all allowed!

Last not least, Crucifixes hanging upside-down, Anti-Christ, Devil, Satanic symbols no problem, but no fucking Catholic crucifixes in Italian schools, MAMA MIA, Jesus will be spinning on his cross!!

Last not least, here's a Spoof to tickle your fancies about our fav ex-President, Georgie Porgie Bush, have a laugh at this crap:

George Bush is alive and kicking especially after the latest gubernatorial races showed support for the ex=President and his Republican party!

Dissatisfaction with Obama over the economy, his colour, losing the Olympic bid, has lead many Yanks to believe, "Georgie wasn't that bad after all!"

"He won the war in Iraq, topped Saddam, kicked that bastard Bin Laden into exile, bombed the crap out of the Taliban, demolished those ugly Twin Towers in NY, was demented, docile and a born fucking idiot but still better than ol clever clogs, Obama!"

Coloured people in the US, Tony Blair, Margaret Thatcher, Putin, Benjamin Netanyahu, Robert Mugawe, etc, are also rallying behind George once more quoting, "we need more men like
George, blind, deaf, dumb and stupid, but a real Christian Yank at heart, aagh!"

Meanwhile, George, still in demented rehab, quoted, "I love you, God bless America, my ol buddies Bin Laden, Ghaddafi, Susan Palin (fine blow job if ever there was!) Bono, Adolf, Stalin, Mussolini, Mugave, Pinochet, Idi Amin........"

The nurses caring for George quickly rushed him back into his straightjacket and Hannibal mask, staunch Republican and real Californian, Arnie Schwarzenegger, gave the following statement on behalf of George, "no hasta la vista BABY!"

Well there you go Jaggaloonies, that's it for today, St.Jagged will be back soon with some more very "Jagged Truths" greetings from WAN-KIN-DIK, just whiplashed the bastard, tied him up , handcuffed him, life is a bitch and can get very HARD!!

Adios Amigos!!

zondag 18 oktober 2009

Obama, nobel peace prize my butt! St.Jagged's reply, PUKE, PUKE, and even more PUKE!!!

Real "Nobelllie Pizza Prize" winner Bollack O-Mama
Pukes on Obama and his crap prize

and makes ST.Jagged PUKE, PUKE, PUKE!

Well "Jaggaloonies" the absloute summit of world hypocrisy has just been revealed, Obama and his peace prize, my fucking arse, St.Jagged even deserves it more, God (who?) told me so!

They can stick it up their slimy butts and afterwards flush it down their Norwegian bogs!

In fact St.Jagged was so devastated at not even being nominated alongside our new "Messiah" he puked all over his Pizza and came up with the following snipe!

Proof that the world is so full of crap and bullshit and those who run it are just a bunch of hypocritical crapheads, here it is, greetings to Napoli!

Originally written on the Spoof site, and misunderstood as usual!:

Napoli's most famous pizza baker, Bollacka O-Mama, has just won the world's most coveted and very prestigious "Nobelli Pizza Prize" on a Norwegian oil Rig in the North Sea!

The prize was handed over by Exon's blond, buxom, pigtailed, Viking, Norwegian beauty Queen, Elfrida Visoilstrom and Neopolitan pizza baker, Bollacka O-Mama, was so overwhelmed by the North Sea waves he puked over the side during the ceremony!
Bollacka had just devoured one of his famous "Tuna Fish very oily" specielle pizzas and couldn't keep it down, "MAMA-DE MIA THESE FOOKING WAVES, UUGH!"

The rest of the Norwegian oil rig crew joind Bollacka in a solidarity movement and also puked in unison over the side, unfortunately the helicopter crew which flew Bollacka to the rig were underneath at the time, pizza puke extravaganzie, BELLA!

As for Exons Viking beauty queen, Elfrida Visoilstrom, she heaved to the left but avoided an embarrasment by puking down her very tasty, heaving cleavage, blushing accordingly!

The Norwegian oil rig were very proud to be hosts of this prestigious ceremony putting that other "NOBEL" bent and very hypocritical prize giving ceremony to shame!

As Bollacka O-Mama was About to leave the oil rig with his prize of 200 lousy Norwegian Krona stuffed tightly in his puke stained pizza-baking apron he issued the following statement:

"I, Bollacka O-Mama and my Mama ama so proud to be heere on dis ere oily rig and receivey my precia from Nobelli Norway I'e hopey that the mondia will never forghetti mia et mia fabulosi pizzas, ARRIVEDERCI BELLAS, et may I never comie back to dis ere shitoli!"

As his helicopter took off, Bollacka O-Mama, still feeling very fucking pukey, sprayed the rest of his oily "Tuna fish Speciellie" all over the waving crew, Bella Norway mucho Nobellie!!

And the passing seagulls picked up the "PEACES!"

Another proof that St.Jagged is a distorted, raving, Nutter, lop-sided genius, want's the Noble prize desperately and the bucks, but his ol mate and trusty slave, WAN-KIN-DIK, nodded his head in disbelief so St.Jagged kicked him in the balls!

My WAN-KIN-DIK is now recovering from the injury and will sue that bastard St.Jagged for every penny he owns!

Bad fucking luck WAN-KIN-DIK, I'm fucking broke!

WAN-KIN-DIK got on his knees and begged for a bullet in the back of his head and a piece of Bollacka O-Mama's oily pizza to take with him!

Arrivederci Balla's!

The story continues!

vrijdag 9 oktober 2009

US cause lunar explosion searching for ICE, ICE, BABY at a cool $79 million!
Obama wins Nobel peace prize, but nobody knows why! maybe the Ku Klax Clan can provide an answer, BLACK POWER!!

Maybe Israeli Alien's can provide the answer why Obama won the Nobel peace prize they know all about it, ask the Palestinians, SHALOM!!
Hey "Jaggaloonies" as you all know St.Jagged is a peaceful, non-ranting, loveable Grandad but sometimes things happen on this planet (and outside) whereby St.Jagged just has to "blow a fucking fuse" and tell my beloved "Jaggaloonies" the nasty fucking TRUTH about the people who run this shithole and their egoistic, selfish doings!!

This time it's the fab US once again, fucking again and again (will they ever learn? no!).

Today, 09.10.2009, the US exploded 2 rockets on the moon, costing $79 million!! What grand reason do they need to blast so much money away onto the Lunar surface? Yes, ICE ICE BABY, FUCKING ICE!!

Hold it a second, is St.Jagged watching the wrong film here?

The US have a grand debt of $11,9 TRILLION dollars and it's growing by the second!
The US pay an annual $412 BILLION on interest payments (tax payers money of course!)!
The US caused the financial meltdown, high unemployment and even more misery!
3/4 's of the world's population live in wretched poverty have no clean water, no food, no decent housing, etc, etc!

And the fucking US go and play SILLY ARSES on the moon for an ICE COOL $79 MILLION!!

If you added the whole amount of money that the US and other moronic states have blown away on their pathetic space programmes you could probably feed the world's population for a hundred years, provide them with clean water, reasonable housing, medical help, build decent infra -structures, etc, etc, and still have money left fucking over!!


Plus the financing of their useless conflicts in Vietnam, Korea, 2 x Iraq, Afghanistan not to mention their support of Nazi Israel and other minor conflicts since WW2!

Costing not only $trillions to finance but also costing the human tragedy of millions of innocent's murdered by the US war machine!!

Hitler was like a naughty schoolboy compared to that mob!!

Jaggedone's if the US would have used their power in a sensible fashion there would have been no need for many of the conflicts mentioned, the route of all EVIL is not only money but pure fucking ignorance and the US monster has shown enough of that ever since Hitler departed!!

When St.Jagged see's such "LUNARCY" as in LUNAR (for the less cryptic of you!) there's only one thing St.Jagged wants to do, grab his ever trusty WAN-KIN-DIK and book on the next flight to fucking Saturn singing that Rolling Stones classic "HEY, HEY YOU GET OFF OF MY CLOUD" and never come back!! (cloud as in just discovered new cloud rings around Saturn, get it!!).

But no, my "Jaggaloonies" St.Jagged would never leave you, he'll always be around to vomit at these fucking ARESHOLES running our planet and who puts them there, yes my Darlings, the people (but certainly not my "Jaggaloonies" never, or?)!

To top it all "The New Messiah" Obama, has won the fucking Nobel prize for peace, total "LUNARCY" and hypocrisy at it's maddest, what the fuck has he done to deserve that?

St.Jagged doesn't know, maybe we should ask a passing JEWISH-ISRAELI-ALIEN, called BLACK MOSES maybe he'll know!

Well my "Jaggaloonies" back to the day job over at http://www.thespoof.com/ a man has to live you know!!

St.Jaggeds WAN-KIN-DIK is so sore after all of the whippings he's been taking lately that he's sagging and sobbing in the corner, pushing his broken rickshaw back and forward singing "Oh happy days" by that famous black Chink opera singer TUNG-IN-PUSI, better than a rapping Ice-T on the moon anyday!

Hasta La vista Terminator Babies!

woensdag 30 september 2009

Satan's in the News as usual + his ol sidekick Adolf and Madonna is marrying her baby, JESUS!!

1) Satan in the news as ever!

2) Madonna with her "Baby" Jesus from behind!
3) Charlie manson to star as him above, only this time the real thing!!!

Here we go, here we go, here we go!!

Jaggedone's, just landed for a "Quickie" (haven't told the wife yet!!) lots has happened over the last couple of weeks, but the most fantastic thing to happen is that "Horny Grandma" Madonna is about to marry her son "Jesus" in a mega-religious experience, happening. Jesus will shed his poorly rags and suck Madonna's (no not her leather pussy!) millions away!

St.Jagged thought Jesus was an honest beggar, son of God (who?) broke the bread, healed the lepers, walked on water, recalled Dig Lazarus Dig, etc!

Well not anymore Jaggo's (new word for my loony worshippers!) Jesus has been reborn, this time as a pretty boy model, shagging the shit out of his MAMA, Madonna and has been catapulted to multi-millionaire status via the cross - ing and catwalk, "thankyou God, Dad (who?), this time around it's much more pleasant!" he prayed!

Roman Polanski has been arrested for shagging a 13 year old Lolita in Switzerland, only problem is the 13 year old is now a 105, but nobody told the Americans, who have been pursuing ol Polanski for the last 50 odd years!

They've got their man locked up in a Swiss cell and are waiting to extradite the creepy, paedophile, film maker!

When Roman is jailed he has promised to remake Rosemary's Baby and offer Charles "The Demon" Manson a role in it as Satan, to thank him for slitting open his ex-missus, Sharon Tate, lovely gesture!

Charlie Manson has accepted and promised to sacrifice 5 of his female worshippers in a Satanic ritual, removing their pussies and heads then inviting Hannibal Lector for dinner, of course, evil bastard (well he is Satan!)!

The world of politics never changes, corrupt, corrupt and even more corrupt, even Obama is stooping so low that he has to insult that "crap rapper", Keyne West, for a bit of extra publicity!

Nature keeps causing havoc, Taiwan mudslides, Australian clouds of red dust, Tsunamis, floods in the Philippines, millions destined to starve in Africa (so what's fucking new!)

Israeli Nazis refuse to move an inch on the Palestinian thing, Iran and North Korea shooting their pea-shooter rockets towards Israel and South Korea respectively, for a bit of rocket salad practice!

Yeah, yeah, Jaggo's nothing much ever changes, bullshit and bollocks on a daily basis, only St Jagged remains perfectly sane with his ol mate WAN-KIN-DIK to keep him company whilst occupying his place under a bridge in Amsterdam thinking:

"What would have happened if Hitler had won the war," I guess we'll never know!!!!

Well Jaggo's and fellow "Nutters" adios amigos from ol St.Jagged, he's heading back over to the http://www.thespoof.com/ for a bit of bantering with the other "Spoof Loonies" and keep them ol WAN-KIN-DIKS stiff and fucking hard!!!

maandag 14 september 2009

St.Jagged pissed and "STIFF" as his ol WAN-KIN-DIK!!

German horny Frauleins boozing Viagra-Beer!
Unemployed Dildos, sagging, soogy and uselesss!!

JA, JA, those fucking Krauts again, beating the world hands down at everything, Mercedes, BWM, Bosch, Siemens, shooting penalties, winning footy world cups and now, shock, horror, fucking VIAGRA BEER!

Ja, Jaggedone's it's true, THE TRUTH even, Germans have invented a beer not only to get males pissed out of their brains, no, that's not enough, they've added Viagra and now the world will get as "STIFF" as starch and horny on the way!! (Beware mini-skirted Barmaids!!)

A Kraut in his private brewery somewhere in downtown Germany was fiddling with his Kapputer maschine, got horny, stuck his "Dickstick" in a litre of best Deutsche Pils, mixed a viagra tablet and "bobs your uncle" three hours of hot internet WAN-KIN with a blonde, buxom Deutsche Fraulein, first time in three years, oogh, aagh!!

Now Jurgen Brauer (Brewer in English!) has decided to sell his "Viagra Beer" worldwide after testing it on his very saggy workforce, they certainly "STIFFENED UP", and are now busy "Gang-Banging" their female colleagues over the lunch tables, Sieg Heil!!

Jurgen hopes he will never have "Stiff" opposition and has globally patented his beer already!!

All German males and their wives are craving for the product whilst the Dildo industry has been severly "Six Packed" sideways!

Reasons; lonely wives of beer binging German males have been buying dildo's for a bit of vibrating comfort! All they do now is top their hubbies up with Viagra Beer, their dildo's can stay dry, gather dust and only be used when he's visiting the girlfriend!!

Jurgen has already designed labels with hot, sexy, blond, buxom Frauleins whipping the sagging dicks of beer binging males and boy does it get them "HARD!"

The beer will lead Germany out of recession, become a winner (as usual!) conquer the world whilst the rest of the beer boozing world looks at Germany scoring even more penalties as the others fail miserably!

JA, JA, Jaggedone's, who really won the fucking war?? St.Jagged is off to buy a six-pack for himself and his ol WAN-KIN-DIK, see you all in 2 weeks when the "STIFFNESS" wears off!!!

vrijdag 4 september 2009

Proof that TheSpoof.com is a high security "Loony Bin"!!!

Avid, pathetic but very true Jaggedone's, St.Jagged has been travelling the cyber universe and has now returned from his billion mile travelling stints to reveal the TRUTH about where St.Jagged (disguised as Jaggedone!) has really been!!!

No Jaggedone's he's not been in cyber bordellos of porn shoots, but he has been to a totally "Loony" mental ayslum called the "Happy Farm for Retards" over at http://www.thespoof.com/!
Whilst in captivity at the "Happy Farm" St.Jagged writes under the alias of Jaggedone for this bunch of nutters and now I thought I would reveal the TRUTH behind some of the writers who are locked away and participate in the Asylum!

No Jaggedone hasn't "Flew over the cuckoos nest" (Jack Nicholson is like Peter Pan compared to this fucking mob!!) he is an outpatient at the Loonybin, just visiting in times when the uncontrollable urge to take the piss out of the world takes over, prozac fails, so a quick visit to
The Spoof is a certain cure!

The Spoof writers are locked away in padded cells and only receive 2 hours "happy time" daily, in this time they sprint for the computers in a mad rush to get their Spoof stories published!
When completed they are escorted back to their cells in straightjackets, locked away until the bell rings, then the whole procedure repeats itself!

The top ten writers are the main nutters and strive to keep their positions safe, points are given for the "best" or most ludicrous spoofs! Those who achieve most points get bonuses in the form of dry bread and cockroaches and a pencil, those who fail get fuck all and are forced to writing their draft Spoofs in their own blood, UUGH!Life is shit as a "Nutty Spoofer"!!

Any global issue that happens is turned into a satirical Spoof for the cyber world to devour but behind these stories are a team of complete debauched maniacs including myself!

The stories are filtered by our "Big Nasty Brother" better known as Mark, or just plain old Hitler!
Spoof writers are guarded by Jackbooted guards wearing Hannibal Lector masks (the masks make the writers feel more comfortable!) and only come out after dark!

Jaggedone's I'd like to give you some descriptions of the main "Loony" writers, here we go:

VC better known as Victor Nicholas = A total one-line grizzly screwball who can only count to one because of a piece of shrapnel sticking in his head. It happened in the great war 1914/18 at St Ypres, VC forgot to duck!

Earl Grey = Russian aristocrat who swallowed the bullet, never bats but misses nothing, totally batty and constantly recites Trotsky in ancient Mongolese!

Skoob99 = Total nutter who sees only "Red" always wears a straightjacket because if he turns "Blue" a "Red Hulk" appears, is forced to write with his toes, ingrowing!
Jesus Budda = Absolute Pyscho, eats little children, fucks his goldfish and nails himself to the cross, calls all Buddhas Burmese Arsefuckers and lives in a world according to the gospel of
Charles Manson, alias "The Satanic Killer"!!

Fergus McCarthy = Papal Pitbull and only known non-gay catholic priest on the planet, kills Onion sellers and gay San Franciscan monks, only happy when reading the bible up-side down or inside out!

Madame Bitters = Loony whiplashing Dominatrix, has claws like a White Sharks teeth, rips all male Spoofers to shreads if they dare say "Pussy" and never lands on her feet, except while exerting punishment to males "Doggy Style" and likes a pint of best bitter!

Jalaponman = Cracked somewhere between El Paso and Bognor Regis, ever since then dreams of raping "Red Hot Chilli Peppers" and penetrating innocent onions, fucking weirdo!

Morse = Naval nutter who only sets for sail at low tides in his Submarine, ends up grounded and signals for help via Skoob in his "Red" Submarine, one as nutty as the other!

Smurfette = Turned Blue and very "Double Dutch" asked her Vater "Abraham" for forgiveness and he banished her to the Spoof!

Queen Mudder = The Queen of all fucking Pyscho nutters and absolute numero uno! Respected by all other Pyscho's, Jaggedone once tried to ant hill up her ever open thighs, the crush was to much and killed 5000 braincells in Jagged's head, only one left now!

Well Jaggedone's there are plenty more GAA GAA writers at the happy farm, to finish I'll just one line a few (sorry VC!)

San Francisco Onion = Boring US nutter locked up with
Buckwheats Buck fizz = No adjectives available for this fucking weirdo!
Frankie J = Pyschopathic word cruncher and fucks everything with 2 2 four legs!
Monkey Woods = Bangkok Hotel resident ( well he imagines he's in Bangkok anyway!) local resident and mad as the Maddest Hatter at Ascot, supports Hull, proof!
The list of Mentals writing for the Spoof is endless, but here you have a few of them, worth a read and a chuckle, but don't ever dare cross Jesus Buddhas bath robes, Pyscho Hitchcock's inevitable!
Well Jaggedone's there you have it, the Happy Farm over at http://www.thespoof.com/!
As for St.Jagged he's just whipped the butt of his Chink slave WAN-KIN-DIK for being a lazy bastard and not pulling St.Jagged out of the spoof "Loonybin" quick enough with his one wheeled, earthquake damaged rickshaw, guess ol St.Jagged will just have to wait for the next "Happy hour"!!!

dinsdag 18 augustus 2009

God (who?) and his Sidekick (who?) speak to St. Jagged!!

He looked slightly different whilst talking to St.Jagged but not his sidekick above, now what's his name S***N maybe?!

Hey Jaggedone's, yes muvva fuckers, God (who?) has discovered St.Jagged's (alias The Jaggedone) superb works on this ere blog site and across at the http://www.thespoof.com/ site and thinks it's about time that the world fucking knew it!!

No, no Jaggedone's ol St.Jagged has not converted, become religious or anything and his ol WAN-KIN-DIK is a fucking Buddhist anyway (believes he will return as a superior being next time, a white, albino, very fat, demon-eyed river rat, daft Chink DIK, the Chinks believe rats are superior beings and albino's are the DEVIL (who?) in person???) and St.Jagged thought he would share this monumentous happening with all of you (who?)!

The message from above was transmitted via The Spoof and that mob don't believe a shit either!

Don McLean once wrote a fabulous song about Vincent Van Gogh called Vincent (boring!) and one of his lines was:
" They didn't listen then, they're still not listening now, perhaps they never will!" or something like that!

Jaggedone's, the following piece can be ignored, but beware before you throw it in the rubbish bin, there might be some elements of the TRUTH hidden between the lines and the bullshit, beware!!!!

Here we go:

GOD gives exclusive interview to The Spoof implying his world is full of "Power Crazed, greedy Bastards!!

Written by Jaggedone
Tags: God

GOD (yes the real GOD, who?) has given an exclusive interview to the Spoof family of writers and readers. Astonished by this call from above (or below!) The Spoof, believing that the whole thing was a sham, decided eventually to send a representative to this astonishing, historical occasion reason being: The Spoof has no boundaries, heavenly or hellish! Anyway, The Spoof ordered Jaggedone and his CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) to go along as JO (Jaggedone, btw is a predominant Pyscho Socialite crap writer, a raving nutter and is suitable to face GOD, Jesus Budda also, but he's full of crap!) believes in the powers of a non-interventionist GOD, albeit not the GOD who is projected in human, wordly religions!

GOD appeared in his favourite disguise, a Clochard under a bridge in Amsterdam with his sidekick, a very huge albino rat with piercing red, satanic, demon-like eyes! Jaggedone trembling at his ageing knees asked GOD, "why have you called The Spoof for this exclusive interview and not the Pope for example?"
God answered, "Spoof writers and readers see the world in different dimensions, laugh at the world and are seriously funny, I the Almighty need to convey my message through those channels otherwise nobody will ever f*****g believe me."

"Those bullshitting, hypocritical, lying, earthly religious leaders are so full of crap and religious dogma they could never tell the TRUTH!"

Jaggedone asked GOD, "but why now and what should the Spoof do?"

"I gave the world Jesus, Ghandi, Martin Luther King, Mother Teresa, The Elephant Man, etc, as positive examples, mankind ignored them, so be it!"

"I gave the world Hitler, Mao, Nero, Stalin, Ghengis Khan, wicked dictators, Egyptian/Roman Emperors, evil bastards all of them and the world still hasn't learnt to live in peace, so be it!"

"I've warned the world many times not to destroy my beautiful trees, natural habitats, their animals, etc, etc, and now, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, so be it!"

"The ice caps will melt, typhoons, earthquakes, floods, tsunamis, etc, will cause havoc, death and destruction, i.e. This weekend in Taiwan, gigantic avalanches of mud caused death and mayhem because there are no trees to stop them!"

"Stupid ignorant people have ignored the signs in their pursuit for power, greed, and false GODS, OK, so be it!"

"Mankind will pay the price for his failings that is my message to The Spoof, their honourable writers and readership, so be it!"

Jaggedone now alone (his cowardly cockroaches scampering for the nearest sewer hole) with GOD and his Sidekick (who?) asked a final question, "GOD, how should any sane mother fucker believe this utter bullshit?"

GOD answered "that's the reason why I'm telling The Spoof, as for the rest, well I don't give a shit, so be it!!"
JO, blinked for one second in disbelief, the Clochard (GOD) and his albino Sidekick, simply disappeared, so was it!!!
There it is Jaggedone's, take it or leave, you can even wipe your arses with it, but never underestimate the "POWER OF ???!" (WHO?)
Godbye, Aufwiedersehen and Amen!!!!

zondag 2 augustus 2009

You've all missed St.Jagged, I know!!!!

Pic 1 = Camel seen not in Egypt, no, no, parking place at Tesco's, Birmingham, UK
Pic 2 = Camel shitting on parking place at Tesco's, Birmingham, UK
Pic3 = No, no, not the Tower of Babylon, Tesco's Birmingham, UK
Devoted Jaggedone's guess who's back, yes your old wind-upper and raving, loony ranter, St.Jagged!!!

Holidays, work, Spoofing it up at http://www.thespoof.com/, Mum's Funeral (bless her!) all these things take time and St.Jagged is now back to shock the fuck out of you all by telling you of his "SCARY" experience at a certain Tesco's (supermarket giant in the UK) around Birmingham UK!

Fuck me Jaggedone's, St.Jagged was in England but he could have been in the seething, twin fucking Towers of Babylon, anywhere, apart from good ol stiff upper lipped, UK!

Whilst doing a bit of shopping in downtown "Brummie" country we decided to stop and shop at Tesco's, it became slightly suspicous by the amount of camels crap and parked camels scattered all over the parking areas!

OK, so we ventured in after zig-zagging through the camels and their crap, were confronted by several different Nationalities exiting the building, "non-white Babylonians," St.Jagged thought!

St.Jagged, his Missus St.Jagged and Junior St.Jagged stared at each other and thought, "where the fuck have we landed."

Spot a white face and I'll give you a "Tenner"! We entered and low and behold, Burqas, headscarves, turbins, Blacks, Chinks, Asians, all-coloureds anything but white, behind the cash desks, the punters, every-fucking-where!!!

Now St.Jagged is certainly not a racist and in previous written masterpieces had mentioned the changing face of the UK and most of Europe, but that was a fucking shock to the ol "Jagged-system" we could have been anywhere and nowhere, just a conglomeration of nationalities heaped upon each other and not an indiginous white caucasian face in sight, apart from St.Jagged and his family!!!

And this in the middle of that once so green, mighty, proud country, rulers of the world, fucking ENGLAND!

What the fuck is happening, where the hell do they all come from and when the hell is it going to stop!!?

The rich, middle - class "True Brits" lock themselves up behind their expensive households, shop only in their rich and middle-class supermarkets away from the scum. The immigrants multiply and multiply, spreading their breeding zones and habitats in wide circles around the major cities. Whilst those rich and fortunate hide from the TRUTH (what!) and the lower class indiginous Brits grin, suffer and flock to the fucking BNP (British Nationalist Party)!

Where is the balance and when will a race of people eventually become extinct? St.Jagged also visited the birth place of Charles Darwin, Shrewsbury, responsible for, well you all know fucking what, EVOLUTION and his only the strongest survive theories.

Charles, right under your noble nose evolution is taking place and this once so proud nation called Great Britain with it's original inhabitants, Northern European, white caucasians is gradually becoming EXTINCT!!!!

St.Jagged took his ol one wheeled, rickshaw pulling, earthquake damaged, chink slave, WAN-KIN-DIK along on his holidays, and whilst WAN-KIN his DIK, he commented, "this is a country I want to live in, multi-culti, bullshit and freedom for everyone!"

St.Jagged promptly buried his WAN-KIN-DIK in a pile of camels shit and told him to FUCK OFF or he would be sent back to his real home, still earthquake damaged Chink land! WAN-KIN-DIK slapped his chains on and hastily started pulling!!
Well Jaggedone's that's it for now, more Jagged masterpieces over on http://www.thespoof.com/ and St.Jagged will soon be back to please his multi-million fan base including his upside down swimming dead goldfish, mingy dog, violent pig, scabby cat and stuffed scorpion called STING (can't sing either!)

maandag 29 juni 2009

Sad days in the St.Jagged household!!!

St.Jagged entering a NHS hospital to visit his mum, St.Jagged left alive, MUM / RIP another MRSA victim !!!!
Convicted Rumanien nurse last seen working in NHS hospitals feeding dying OAP's!!
MRSA kills more OAP's than Hitler stuck in Auschwitz!!!

Sad news from the St.Jagged household, no muvva fuckers, WAN-KIN-DIK is still here and the rest of St.Jaggeds faithful readership, his upside down swimming, dead goldfish, mingy dog and flea-ridden, non-corrupt, non-voting Persian/Iranian cat!

No Jaggedone's St.Jagged has lost a very dear person and she is now in the safe hands of another very dear member of the Jagged family flying freely somewhere between our shithole planet and wherever they want to be "Two little birds"

Anyway whilst going through the ordeal of losing this very dear person St.Jagged was confronted with several not so pleasant TRUTHS regarding GB, NHS Hospitals and to get rid of all of the frustrations St.Jagged wrote a couple of poignant Spoofs over at the http://www.thespoof.com/ site.

They are coming up below and if any one of you has lost a close relative lately, my deepest condolonces go out to you all!!!

Enjoy the Spoofs, smile, laugh, but also spare a thought for all of those reaching the end of their lives in hospitals, especially OAP's. In this modern day and age they are not being treated with the respect that they deserve and St.Jagged hopes that his satirical spoofs will at least ring a few bells!!!

Spoof 1)

The very cheapskate NHS has been rocked once more by an even bigger scandal than their recently reported cheap foreigner employment policies! What could be worse? MRSA, the killer bug, which takes care of more OAP's than Hitler ever did at Auschwitz!

News has leaked (at a very leaky NHS!) out from CEO boardrooms that the killer MRSA bug is not quite what OAP punters forced into NHS hospitals think it is, an unavoidable KILLER! A recent infiltration exercise by the intrepid CIA (cockroach infiltration army) has found evidence that the MRSA bug was purposely released in hospitals to drastically cut costs, waiting lists, save beds and increase CEO bonuses!OAP's, especially the female species, delivered into hospital with a simple broken leg, arm, toe or finger have been increasingly exiting the backdoors in coffins. Good business for the hospitals, funeral parlours and great news for the LABOUR GOVERNMENT!

The very brave CIA reporter, "King-Roach Pussywound" also infected by the MRSA bug after licking the blood of a MRSA infested dying OAP, (luvely, jubbely!) sent this very disturbing and shocking report over to CIA headquarters:
Dr.Death (better known as that rat, NHS, CEO, Boris Genocidski) divulged at a board meeting with his lesser DR.Deaths the superb figures for 2008/09.
"After the introduction of MRSA we are pleased to announce that especially OAP's are "popping off" with rapid haste! Everbody is profiting, Funeral Directors, the Labour Government, CEO's and also, NHS costs have been slashed by 35%."
"This means we can all pay ourselves even larger bonuses and kid the world that we and the Labour Party are all doing a fucking grand job!"

CIA reporter "King-Roach Pussywound" just managed to relay this horrendous report before being trod on by a certain CEO with his handmade designer 400,00 pound shoes, spreading puss all over the pristine polished oak floor and finally being put out of his misery.

The unnamed CEO cynically laughed and quoted:"Well this mother fucker certainly reminds me of our OAP customers and their relatives downstairs, who don't have a fucking idea about our murderous, deadly MRSA policies."
Thank God "King-Roach Pussywound" had the brains to leave his hidden microphone on: Jaggedone and his CIA reporters have sworn to "get the Mother fuckers!!!"

For further developments keep tuned to Aljazeera International, they at least sometimes attempt to reveal the TRUTH!

Spoof 2)

The latest scandal to rock the NHS and Labour Party has been reported and exclusively divulged via Jaggedone's CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) to the world after an investigation into racist Hospital employment practices. CIA special health and medical reporter, Daddy "Filthylonglegs" Unwashedhands, sent the following, harrowing report back to CIA headquarters after creeping through the disgusting bog pipes of a certain mortuary in a certain hospital and uncovered the following racist facts:

a)No white or Brit nurses were to be found working in any of the departments.
b)All "Daddy" could hear was the mumbo-jumboing of African/foreign nurses and Doctors in pigeon English whilst talking to their Brit patients/relatives, who couldn't understand a fucking word what they were on about!
c)Only in the CEO/Management departments was decipherable English being spoken and white caucasian faces detected.
d)After scouring through "Top Secret" documents, "Daddy" found the following documented criteria pertaining to employment conditions, here we go:
1) No white, British applicants will have a chance of employment in the NHS, they should all fuck off to America!
2) Only coloured/non-Brit white i.e. Polish, Rumanien, etc shall be given opportunities of employement in the NHS, reasons: They're cheap, nasty and don't give a shit about patients/relatives feelings, hence no more time consuming emotional bullshit and an immense cutting of time and costs!
3)By employing non-Brits we the NHS have cut waiting lists to a minimum and nobody has noticed that the services on offer are appalling (apart from white, caucasian dying OAP's who are rapidly vacating their beds, ask yourself why!).
4)NHS CEO's and Management and will remain solely in British hands, hence the justification to pay enormously, inflationary salaries. White Brit nurses/doctors are planning protests and strikes, but the NHS don't give a shit because they have the backing of the Labour Party and their white caucasian Prime Minister, real Scot, Gordon Brown, who believes in racial equality as long as he doesn't have to be treated at NHS shitholes!!

Daddy "filthylonglegs" Unwashedhands scarpered out of this certain hospital and relayed this shocking report back to CIA headquarters who in turn has sent it post-haste to the All-Black, Notting Hill Carnaval Organisation Commitee. They have promised to build a protest float in honour of the unemployed, white, Brit caucasian nurses and doctors as a show of solidarity and proof that RACISM ISN'T DEAD BY NO MEANS, MAAN!!

maandag 15 juni 2009

Israel demand Auschwitz conditions for the brand new Palestinia!!!

JA, JA, Jaggedones, St.Jagged has made a massive coup de gras (what the fuck is that!?) he sent his CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) under the leadership of ol WAN-KIN-DIK behind the scenes at the press conference of the Israeli Prime Minister but what his Numero Uno Cockroach star reporter "Adolfo Eichmann Hilter" recorded was totally different to what the world was told.
WAN-KIN-DIK waiting in his panzer recorded the following statement exclusively for the Jaggedone's readership, don't be fucking shocked, it's not the TRUTH, this time, but nearly!

Israeli Prime minister Netanyahu proudly announced to the world that they are willing to accept a Palestinian State as their neighbours under the following conditions:
1) The new Palestinian state is to be built behind barbed wire, search lights, a massive Berlin wall and security towers patrolled by the Israeli SS.

2) Exit from Palestinia is allowed only by air and with El Al Airways, no Untermenschen will be allowed to set foot on the "Promised Land" without chemical cleansing.

3) Security gates built for Israeli forces to enter Palestinia and sort the Bastards out will have the following, historical words written over them: ARBEIT MACHT FREI.

4) All food, medical supplies, fresh water, electricity and other energy resources must be solely provided by Israel and sold to the Palestinian Pigs for extortionate prices.

5) Any weapons found in the new Palestinia will be a reason for Israel to enter, whip the bastards, teach them a lesson, bomb them with white phosphorus, rapidly retreat and leave the shithole in an even worst condition than it was before.

6)Protests, rebellions, Hamas, Al Qaeda, Palestinian Freedom Fighters must be eradicated and all young men between 14 and 35 will be put against the wall and executed.

Many more conditions were demanded and accepted by the US/UN and Prime Minister

Netanyahu finished with the following closing statement:

Hopefully when these demands have been met and implemented, within 5 years there will be no Palestinians left anyway and we can all live in peace at last.
The Prime Minister sent greetings to US President Obama, who smiled from ear to ear and thought silently "at last my world vision is beginning to take shape with one less problem to worry about! Shalom!
Jaggedone's when and where will it all end, hopefully not in St.Jagged's back fucking garden or yours!!!
Shalom and Aufwiedersehen from St.Jagged, his CIA and newly promoted officer of his CIA, Chief Chink Cockroach WAN-KIN-DIK !!

dinsdag 9 juni 2009

Holland beat England in their own backyard at the ancient game of CRICKET, whatever next, Nessie will be sighted!!!

It's only fucking cricket W.G. Grace, don't turn in your grave!

Howzat, Jaggedone's, how the fuck is zat!! No oh faithful one's St.Jagged hasn't gone completely stark raving loony, but nearly!!

As if its not embarrassing enough being a very proud Brit and having to suffer the indignities that our super, overpayed, loser, sportsmen/women pour upon us, no fucking no! St.Jagged just happens to reside in Holland, that insignificant country of Shell, Van gogh, super footballers, coffee, cheese, crap rugby players and cricketers.

Wel they certainly stuffed the mother land of cricket right up their butts and had William.G. Grace turning in his very fucking ancient grave!! (see above!)

OK, Jaggedone's we all know about English footie players, they couldn't win the World/European cups even if they were given to them! ("wouldn't be fair ol chap," stiff upper lip bullshit!)

Rugby, Athletics, Boxing, Tennis, etc, you name it, the Brits are completely useless at it!

St.Jagged will now name some major (my butt!) sports where the Brits excell:

Marbles = fuck off

Darts = Only when a certain Dutchman (again!) Mijnheer Barneveld is not playing!

Fox Hunting = no other country on the planet wants to play that barbaric sport!

Hooliganism = World champions together with Poland (bunch of Skinhead morons).
World Champion hooligan "Larry the Leeds United Thug" winning the world cup final against Kraut "Boris Boom Boom Smashyourkopfin"

Kicking Old age Pensioners = three times world champions, respect muvva fuckers!!

Rowing at Henley = Only possible winners because only posh aristocrat bastards are allowed to play with themselves + champers ducky!

University boat race = Oxford (full of Yanks) Cambridge ( full of more Yanks) don't count, foreign bastards, disqualified!

Snail racing = 5 x times world champions beat the French (YES!) only because they insist on eating their best racers, failing to finish every time!
GB snail winning world championships, fuck me he's got an orange hat on, Dutch bastards!

Pitbull fighting = 10 x world champions, only US has more titles to its belt but has now been banned, all champion pitbulls smuggled into the UK, hence 5 x winners at last!

Racing cockroaches = 10 x times second behind India, reason: England taught them all they know and the fucking ex Raj bastards now beat them hands down, breeding, breeding and even more breeding! (too many cockroaches in India, what else is new!)

Anyway Jaggedone's, we once proud losing English are now praying that the fucking Krauts get stuffed by Lichtenstein at footie, then we can have a massive laugh at our old enemies:

Chance of that happening are the same as England winning the World Cup in sunny ol Zuid Afrika (+ apartheid!) 5000/1, St.Jagged is now taking bets so be fucking quick, and if England win it, St.Jagged will commit hari kari at the centre court of Wimbledon, yet another English loser!!!

Goodbye Jaggedone's, see you over at the http://www.thespoof.com/ site for more very, spooky, Jagged adventures, by the way St.Jaggeds ol Chinky slave WAN-KIN-DIK has entered the footy World Cup singlehanded, after slaughtering the ravaging Persian armies, corrupt NY CEO's, Talibans and Al Qaeda he will represent the Falkland Islands and thump the fucking English off of the planet, once and for all!!

maandag 25 mei 2009

St.Jagged fights for the freedom from slavery of Indian Dalits

My Asian Jaggedone"s should take the following blog with a pinch of rancid shit and be shocked at the horrendous truth behind the story.

Of course St.Jagged slightly altered the report to at least attempt to raise a cynical, humourous awareness of the plight of these very poor bastards. What else should ST.Jagged do, cry into his veggy curry!

After observing the plight of the Dalits you begin to realise that St.Jagged could well be telling the fucking TRUTH and the world is full of crap!

Well enjoy it and think deeply about your visit and complaint about the next pristine clean motorway bog, while the Dalits in Mumbai have to share one shithole amongst 800!!!

Here we go the title is:

Indian lowest cast Dalits given publicity by the Beeb for their luxury lifestyle!

Another superb "Beeb" roving reporter gave the world an insight on BBC World, into the Indian cast (slave) system and proved that the slavedrivers are acting in a "humane" and correct way.
"Dalits are happy with their "Karma", and should be forced into modern - day slavery otherwise they would all end up in the shithole slums of Mumbai, amongst the human excrement, rubbish and squalour," they proclaim.
The Slavedrivers (or higher cast landowners) offer a pristine clean, working environment, healthy meals (rice, rice and even more rice) supplemented by luxury rat meat. Contrary to filthy slum living with 800 people utilising one toilet, sewer rats, and a constant flow of human SHIT and disease.
Dalits wishing to escape slavery should think twice before rushing off to the shitholes of Bombay, at least they can breathe the fresh air of country life and fulfill their Karma decently, albeit with a whip up their backsides!
The "Beeb" reporter acting humbly sampling a 5***** country rat menu said "umm, delicious, tastes just like chicken and free of any sewerage leftovers like those other stinking rats swimming in the crap of Mumbai."
Superb reporting and an excellent insight into an "alternative lifestyle"." The Beeb alongside the Sri Lankan (experts at package holidays to revolting places!) and Indian tourist boards are actually thinking of starting package hols. to the Dalit areas hoping that their "way of life" attracts global attention, makes the rich landowner bastards even richer and keeps the "muy pobre" Dalits in their fucking place!
Jaggedone refused to send his CIA (cockroach infiltration army) to the area to discover the "TRUTH", the dangers of infection and disease for his intrepid Cockroach reporters was too risky!

woensdag 20 mei 2009

Loony/Corrupt Damian Hirst send him off to the starving millions in Africa/Art for Arts sake!

Ja, Ja, Ja-ggedones, he's back quicker than you all thought, reasons:

St.Jagged saw a documentary on the fab BEEB, better known as the BBC, and it got right on his almighty fucking nerves!
The docu. followed the steps of a bungling, crap reporter trying to infiltrate the world of contemporary art, gallerists, auctioneers, and most important that fab, trendy artist, Damien Hirst, what a massive tosser he is!

Hirst, multi billionaire crap/shocker painter along with corrupt auctioneers, Sotheby's, Christies and his gallerists manipulate the prices of Hirst's shitty works and other well known contemporary artists too. Keeping their prices at astronomical levels and flogging their shit to the deaf, dumb, blind and very rich and famous multi-billionaire, trend-setty fraternity, manipulating and corrupting the system on the way!

St.Jagged had seen enough when these lumps of banal art (shit) were being sold for amounts, which could feed a starving African nation for a year, and ended up on the walls of some banal mega-rich bullshitters who find it necessary to have the crap hanging on their walls, they should be sent post-haste in the direction of a shit-hole shanty town in downtown Congo and invest their worthless billions decently!

Have a read, have a laugh, and think about the waste of money being thrown down the throats of Mr "Devilish" Damian and his cohorts, FUCK OFF ALL OF YOU!!

Here we go:

A very cutting documentary has been released about Damian Hirst, his gallerists, the auctioneers, the contemporary art world generally and how the fuck they all manipulate the astronomical prices of their so called works of very crappy, contemporary art.
The nosy, toss of a reporter was sometimes even refused entrance to many auctions of Hirsts superior art (my butt!). But the Jaggedone's CIA (cockroach infiltration Army) never failing to miss a piece of arty farty scandal, promptly sent there superstar art-reporter "Vinny Van Cock" behind the scenes to pick up some scandal and info about how these mega-rich morons take the piss out of us all, here his report:
Damian knows his "art" is absolute crap but certainly does know how to shock the public very well, manipulate and force the prices of his crap sky-high.
Golden cows, sharks, Jesus in urine, stubbed out dog-ends, diamond skulls, butterfly bullshit, you name it devilish Damian flogs it. He even has the audacity to let others make his crap works of art for him and then puts his mega-rich signature on the bottom.
Other lower league contemporary artists practise the same thing, produce crap and flog it to deaf, dumb, blind mega-rich morons. Their gallerists and auctioneers also manipulate the prices so keeping the mega-crap artworks priced at astronomical levels. 30 million bucks for a single coloured canvas, not even a real artist like Vincent Van Gogh could achieve that!
Anyway our intrepid reporter "Vinny Van Cock" passed all of the corrupted info over to that tosser reporter (Daily "Scrap" Mail) waiting in his "cool" very gay, pink Bubblecar.
Damian and his morons will obviously continue to earn billions, the ignorant public will continiue to flock to the museums admiring a piece of horses manure plonked in the corner, "Oh golly, how wunderbar Darling, we must have it."
In the mean time superstar CIA reporter, "Vinny Van Cock" has six-legged it off with a real piece of art under his gut, a Picasso, worth peanuts compared to the "oh so fabby" devilish Damian's crap!

vrijdag 15 mei 2009

St.Jagged warned you Muvva Fuckers, now swallow it!

Back home at fucking last, a very tired St.Jagged and his very limp, half-starved Chink, WAN-KIN-DIK have returned home after travelling the cyber waves, soaking up fame and notoriety in an effort to get the TRUTH across to the billions of ignorants inhabiting this very sad planet and they still don't fucking listen!! Here a few examples:

Most Brit MP's have been claiming outrageous expenses and now an independent control body has opened a corrupt "Can of Worms" leaking stories of unbelievable abuses of expense claims.

Shamed MP's now have either to pay back the illegally claimed, tax payers money or get the fucking "JACK-BOOT" up their butts and leave their highly, over-payed jobs, aah!

Well muvva fuckers, whats new? St.Jagged has been warning you bunch about VOTING for these arseholes, and now the inevitable TRUTH is coming out, you all put them there and you tax-payers deserve every lump of corrupt shit that they throw at you!

These scandals are not only restricted to the UK, worldwide abuse by elected representatives of our fab democracies are "at it" non-stop, and you muvva fuckers are paying for them to whoop it up, have fab. luxury travels, apartments, cars, whores, you name it they do it, and all in the name of a clean, non-corrupt, democracy. St.Jagged's BUTT is cleaner after a double hot Indian curry and the inevitable dose of diahhrea!

St.Jagged would never want to live under the iron rule of a dictatorship (his WAN-KIN-DIK once lived under Mao, fat bastard, and he was corrupt as Hitler, murdered a couple of million too, what an analogy!) , but at least everybody knows these muvva fuckers are corrupt. Our democrats with their "Schein Heilig" behaviour, acting as if they're only there for us, are not much better either, bunch of hypocritical lying twats!

Ol black Messiah big boots over in the US should have set an example to the rest of the corrupt imbeciles and gone and lived in a council house. He could have turned the "Black House" into a brand new, massive, high - tec hospital only to serve the homeless, the unemployed, forced into unemployemnt by those fat cat corrupt CEO bankers, and the impoverished who can't afford decent medical care.

Then ol Barack "Big Head wannabee Messiah" would really start moving things in the right direction and set a signal to the rest of the planet (which planet? Human inhabited earth, no way!)

What else has shocked the world since St.Jagged has been surfing in foreign parts, oh yeah, Fiat want to buy those bunch of cripples General Motors European and Porsche want to buy VW making them both the strongest car producers on the planet alongside Toyota!

Fuck me Jaggedone's remember that majestic blog : Who really won the war? Written by the one and only St.Jagged (who fucking else!), well the TRUTH of that one is becoming very plain to see, Sieg (Adolf) Heil, arrivederci (Mussolini) Bella, Banzai (Emperor SAKI KILL BILL!)

British car makers, steel makers, energy producers, aeroplane producers, electric goods producers, computer producers, where the fuck are you????? Nowhere, whilst our old enemies have crept up our backsides, hit us for six, and will soon be telling us to fuck off, well they do that already actually!

As you can read Jaggedone's, ol St.Jagged has been pretty busy and he will soon return to continue his worthless "TRUTH Crusades" whilst picking on every corrupt, dishonest, craphead who continues to spread global misery whilst telling us all gigantic packs of lies.
Filling their own pockets and then fucking off to write their memoirs so every one of you who voted for them can read how wonderful they all were (did St.Jagged mention Blair and Bush, wait till their best-selling books of lies and scandals hit the book shops, you'll all be in the queue won't you muvva fuckers!), pocket another couple of million and then hopefully DIE!!!!

Well that's it JO'ers St.Jagged will soon be back and next time you put your crosses on those ballot sheets, think of ol whiter than white living in his council house in downtown Washington, my fucking arse!!! Aufwiedersehen and Chou Bellas, from Herr St.Jagged and Senöri WAN-KIN-DIK (we want to be with on the winning side when the countdown starts, Sieg Heil!)

donderdag 7 mei 2009

Shocking Newsflash for all non Gays and non-Lesbo Catholics (the 2 of you)

Jaggedone's this newsflash just reached the St.Jagged's headquarters from the Jaggedone over at the CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) headquarters (fucking confused, so is St.Jagged, me myself and I, Schizo bastards!) and St.Jagged and his hardening WAN-KIN-DIK thought it would be of interest to all straight Catholics around the planet.

You are about to lose 75% of your flock (no, not the sheepshaggers amongst you!) in other words the Gay/Lesbian catholic community are fucking off to form their own religion. Well fucking good riddance say's anti-religious St.Jagged and me ol Chinese Wanker, WAN-KIN-DIK.

Jaggedone's please read with care and if you feel in anyway associated with this newsflash, go and shoot yourselves or pray for forgiveness and redemption!

Read with pleasure the following and very shocking newsflash from the Jaggedone over at the Spoof (you know where):

Gay & Lesbian rights groups are abandoning the Catholic church and forming their own global religion called "We are the only natural sons and daughters of God, Amen and fuck the rest especially if their not."
The reason for this shock, global announcement by all straight Gays and Lesbians is the continuing, blasphemous associations with gay and paedophile priests within the Catholic church, they wish to have nothing to do with such a bunch of perverts (what!!).
Their message to the non-gay world is: We are the true children of God, our way of life and sexual orientations are the natural way and time will prove that being gay is the only way to find God (who?). Catholic priests and other religious representatives who practice their perverted acts behind the cloak of religion will burn in hell along with all other practisers of perverted sexual acts.
The elected Pope of the new global all gay religion his right honourable Julian Bum-Basher sent the following message to the rest of the shocked non-gay world from his cathedral in downtown San Francisco on the sacred day of all gays, the original Gay Parade in surprise, San Francisco:
"Brothers and Sisters we are the true children of God (who?) our way of life will prove that sustainable life given to us by the Almighty and his Prophets is the only natural way to heaven (via Amsterdam). We will prove that in the evolutionary process only the strongest survive and all other weak sinners will perish."
"We are rapidly gaining in numbers so go forward on your crusades of infiltrating the impure hetro/non-gay ruling world of politics, religion and education and fuck everybody who is doubting, including vulnerable teenies and Imo's. Prove to them the gay way is the only way, also condemn those perverts in the Catholic Church for tarnishing our pristine reputation."
"God has told me and my prophets, go gay, enter me (backwards) and I will open the pearly gates to heaven for the only true Children of God."
Pope Benedict XV1 on hearing of this devastating split in his very perverted church rapidly sent an Email to God (who?). He asked for forgiveness and redemption for his flock and rapidly defected over to the muslim faith, becoming the new Iman at the blue Mosque in straight, downtown Riyadh leaving his flock to face the wrath of a rapidly becoming and very camp, God (who?).