woensdag 21 mei 2008

Aljazeera Int/ The Truth or not


Jagged One's, we have discovered spies (yes my beloved crapheads, real 007's) in the house of St.Jagged. A well known global news broadcasting station felt it necessary to send their undercover agents to spy upon St.Jagged to find out who really tells the truth, them or us.

Tapping telephones, hidden microphones, agents attempting to photograph the Jagged One, strange FBI look alike vans parked in front of the house with huge satellite dishes perched on the rooves, (totally incognito of course!) in fact, the whole spying, fucking works.

Jagged Edge claims to tell the truth and Aljazeera Int. claims the same, and they are so worried about competition in this field that they are willing to go to such desperate lengths as to prove that there is only one "Truth Teller" on this crappy planet.

"What the fucking hell is this idiot on about?" you are all asking yourselves. "Has he completely lost it this time, ring up the Loonybins, send the straightjackets, lock the muvva fucker up and throw away the key, give him a a cell next to Hannibal Lector," you're all saying (and wishing).

No my dedicated one's, it is the TRUTH, Aljazeera Int. claim that they can be the only one's who tell the TRUTH, and no-one, including the apostle of righteousness himself (no not fucking Jesus, Mohammed, God, Allah, Buddahs, Hari - Krishnas or any other pretenders to the TRUTH), St.Jagged, will be allowed to claim that position.

Well they certainly have good fucking arguments Jagged one's!

St.Jagged watches their programmes regularly and fuck me, they certainly are messengers of doom, bloodshed, warfare, misery, corruption, abuse, misuse, big brother thumping the shit ouf the "little people" etc, etc.

They "cheer me up" every morning with their reports over global war zones, corrupt human behaviour all over the planet and the consequences, misery and wretchedness. You don't get that served up on ABC, NBC, CNN, BBC, and the rest of the "truth bringers" on our multi - media, global telecommunications, shiny happy TV screens.

They certainly have a point about their claim to tell the TRUTH, while all other global news stations are happy to report about VIP, mega - rich super - stars and their lifestyles, the Oscars, Cannes film awards, high flying sport events. Happy go lucky reports about how wonderful the shiny, blue planet and its human inhabitants are so well off due to technical progression, global playing, non - corrupt politicians and their democracies leading the path to the T...H (ha fucking ha!), etc, etc.

Not to forget the irritating advertisements interrupting the whole super show, flaunting mega - expensive products including fabulously expensive watches, perfumes, cars, houses, furniture, etc, You name it they advertise and how easy it is to buy every material product on offer if you are one of the CHOSEN MINORITY, living in the comfort zones and living the life of luxury whilst the MASSIVE MAJORITY PERISHES at the hands of corruption, abuse, wars, bla, bla, bla.

"St.Jagged what the fucking hell are you blabbering on about, spies, truths, Aljazeera Int, etc, what do you really want to tell the world through this shitty blog." St.Jaggeds wicked inner- conscience wakes up and tells St.Jagged to either get on with it or shut the fuck up!!

Well avid readers and preachers of the truth (bollocks, bollocks, bollocks) the moral of this fantastic piece of priceless art is:

Shiny, happy, global news mixed with small slices of the TRUTH is avoiding, ducking, diving and slipping past the TRUTH (what the viewers of the likes of BBC, ABC, NBC, CNN, etc want, hence they can keep their viewers attention, up their ratings and flog off all of the products advertised on their shiny, happy news programmes)

Showing misery, sadness, poverty, innocent victims of warzones, genocide, corruption, etc is the TRUTH but no muvva fucker wants to endure that (apart from Aljazeera Int. viewers of course) and that is the point of this shitty blog.

The big question is, why the fuck did Aljazeera Int. send its spies to observe St.Jagged and what do the hell they think they can achieve by exposing St.Jagged and his merry ol shaggers to be not what they really are, Apostles of the TRUTH? (what a load of ol crap that is as well! If you believe that one, you really fucking believe everything, including George Bush, lame duck shithead!)

You muvva fuckers can answer that one yourselves because St.Jagged is just about to be locked up in a straightjacket, thrown into a stinking dungeon, tortured by "Arab looking", gold toothed and, dressed like Talibans. Left to rot in hell (religious shitheads beware, Satan is amongst us!) and ultimately thrown to the lions, just because he dared to compete with Aljazeera Int. for the position of No. 1 "Truth Teller".

PS: Don't attempt to contact St.Jagged via telephone, there is a bug in my bog and that's where the telephone is.
St.Jagged only communicates whilst in a position of sitting, crapping and farting, no other shitheads listen to his crap apart from the bugs in his bog!!

ST. Jagged

woensdag 14 mei 2008

Shiny Happy Global News

Yeh, Yeh, muvva fuckers, you're all wondering where the hell the Jagged One has been since his last blockbuster shook the establishment by it's balls and caused an earthquake, well fuck me that's my point, who gives a shit where I was. (surfing the heavy metal and Joy Division forums offering them advice on how to start a cyber revolution and conquer the world, master race an all! Bollocks)

As you all know we've had some pretty earth shaking misery hit our wonderful planet lately (no, no, crapheads not the US election, Olympic flame, Tom "fucking" Cruise getting a new facelift, Cher looking like she's 25 and never had an operation, no my friends!) this is really serious stuff, cyclones in Burma, earthquakes in China, terrorist attacks in Jaipur, India, mortgage crisis in the US, UK and all other decadent countries, bent and corrupt elections in Zimbabwe, multi increases in oil and global, basic food prices, the list is endless and it all has one common denominator, misery for the majority, poorest of the poorest (well that's a fucking surprise!).

Are you still feeling happy Jagged One's, no of course we can't change a fucking thing, but we do have the right to comment on the shit happening around us!

Burmese authorities refuse to let aid organisations into their country, 50000 till 100000 dead, homeless and many more to come and the muvva fiuckers refuse help. Well my sympathy goes out to the poor, suffering "little" people and certainly not to those shitheads dictating and murdering their own folk whilst acting under the disguise of being leaders of this cyclone - hit part of the world!

Well that one is beyond us all, or not????

China are slightly better off, the world is focusing in on the natural catastrophy and being informed about the latest death toll, destruction, misery through the oh so open, Chinese media.

Well that's a turn around! Couple of years ago there was a similair earthquake with hundreds of thousands perishing and they didn't let anybody near the place (could this have anything to do with the economic revolution radically changing the face of China and their politics? "St.Jagged how fucking naive are you to ask such a pathetic question").

Another, not to be forgotten aspect is obviously the "Shambolympics", Bejing and all that crap.

China are showing a great deal of aid, help and support for those poor people stuck in the middle of the quake, (believe St.Jagged, he really does have sympathy for those affected by this massive disaster) but being the synical bastard that St.Jagged is, he tends to think the pictures reaching the western world through Chinese TV are aiding the Chinese government in avoiding the highly sensitive question of Tibet and other inhumane policies practised by the politicians, police and the military in this rapidly - growing world power.

Naturally, there is also the great question being asked by the world media and its bloodsucking thirst for up - to - date news pertaining to the "Shambolympics" and if they could be in danger of not going through.

St.Jagged, the cynical muvva fucker also asks the question. Would it not be better to cancel the shitty show of show off athletes, drinking Coca Cola, eating Big Macs and stuffing their veins with steroids and hormones and invest all of the money in helping the poor and wretched caught up in this major natural catasrophy, build an infra - structure, housing, etc, to withstand the (obvious) next visit of a major earthquake.

"ST. Jagged on what planet do you think you're living on, this is planet Earth with all of it's imperfections, natural disasters, and worst of all, its imperfect inhabitants called humans, not the animal kingdom by the way." St.Jagged's inner - conscience wakes up after being totally bored with this serious blog!

Sorry avid readers, St Jagged doesn't mean to express his opinions off of the back of such a catastrophy and it's victims, but my cynical inner - self cannot help driving me to the conclusion that China is using this disaster to seriously benefit and step -up in the league of "Human Rights" by receiving sympathy from the rest of the world, cutting muvva fucker!

Well lets turn our attention to Hilary and Obama, boring, boring, boring, fuck off!

Terrorist bombs in Jaipur, Irak, etc. What's new?

Extortionate food and oil prices, boring, boring and even more fucking boring! (we'll all just swallow, tighten our belts as the mega - hyper, super - rich supermarkets make even more billions of profits and please don't mention those multi - billionare, profit making machines, the oil companies, fuck off!!)

Well my avid Jagged's, that's the happy news from here, hopefully next time St.Jagged can offer you all more excitement in the daily soap called "Steroid Shambolympics running for mankind, all of it's evils and may the best muvva fucker win."

Shiny, Happy, Jagged.ST (crusading for the ?, don't mention the word!!)

vrijdag 2 mei 2008

Dead DC Dame, hanging out for the pleasure

No Jagged one's this is not a self - portrait (mind you after swallowing all of those steroids in my preparation for the Shambolympics it could well be (earlier blog)). This is a "Madame"of the night from over there in the good ol, righteous, christian, puritan, holy, crusaders in the fight against all evil, US fucking A. They or she have been ruffling some feathers in the higher eschelons of their wonderful, clean and very pristine political leaders.
Shock, horror, how could those pure and clean elected representatives spend their many
overpaid (on tax payers Bucks by the way) working hours in the arms (or between the crutches) of these lovely creatures of the night.
One of the Senators even had the audacity to say at a press conference after being caught red - handed or red- balled (which ever way you're lying or hanging!) "I did not have sex at any of those establishments, I just took massages!!"
Who the fuck do these braindead Senators think they're kidding, Bill Clinton, well maybe, but certainly not St.Jagged and his merry ol shaggers!!
In the meantime either the CIA, FBI, MI5, terrorist Aliens, Bin Laden and his jolly bunch, Georgie Bushes secret army or even the X Files have certainly taken care of the breaking scandal.
They broke into Mrs "DC Dame" Jean Palfrey's condo and strung the ol whore up, removed all of the evidence and claimed it was suicide (remember Marilyn, Kennedy, another Kennedy, etc, etc.), well this certainly smells very Dead Kennedies, (good ol punk band from the eighties, Cambodia and all of that) to say the least!
All St.Jagged hopes is that she was clever enough to copy all of the lists of her "super righteous" clientele, sent them off in time to ol Bin in his caves somewhere in???? (Pakistan, maybe!) then he will really have reasons to rant on about the evil infidels, corrupt christians, purer than pure moslems, devils in the west, etc, etc.
He would even have a reason to send his lovable, bomb toting terrorists, for another visit to the centre of the modern world and blow the fucking shit hole off of the face of the planet, taking corrupt and seedy politicians, religious leaders, judges, lawyers, high ranking militaries, police and the rest of the horny muvva fuckers who frequent these establishments and pay their hookers with our hard earnt tax money with them.
Devils fucking circle, well who's the fucking Devil?!
St.Jagged reminds his beloved fans, it is you, people, who vote for these corrupt pratts and put them in their positions, not aliens, not my goldfish, not my crappy dog or mingy cat and certainly not St.Jagged!!!!
You all know what shit they get up to and you all still vote for them (The moral of this fabulous blog: Well, we all might as well hang it out, you my beloved readers are just as much too blame for the corrupt shit that goes down as the muvva fuckers who you all vote for!)
Well Jagged one's St.Jagged is flying off on a moral crusade (financed by your hard earned taxes, what a wonderful life!) to Teheran, Beirut, Bagdad, Jerusalem, Damascus and last not least Islamabad to test on behalf of all of our horny muvva fucking leaders where the best, and cleanest "Massage parlour" is.
I've got 30000 Bucks of US tax payers money in my BIN (excuse the pun Laden) and am going to give it all to those lovely females for a "massage only" and will send the results back to all of those mentioned on the list so they can fuck off to distant parts of the globe, out of sight (and mind) of the righteous, christian, American, tax paying population and fuck their brains out till they die all in the name of freedom and democracy.
Good bye and don't believe the ballshit!