vrijdag 20 november 2009

God alias Mother Nature speaks to St.Jagged, tells him to stop fucking about and divulge the real Ten Commandments!

Mother Nature alias God
God alias Mother Nature

God alias God alias Mother Nature!

Jaggaloonies, St.Jagged has a problem, GOD (who?) no not one of them false Gods in people's churches and fantasies, but the real one!

No Allah's, Buddhas, Hindu's, Christian Gods or whoever, these are seperatist gods created by mankind to exercise power over others!

This God is the real God, actually he or she has another name, Mother Nature!

Now this God has been having a chat with St.Jagged, told him to stop fucking about, do something uselful, write something decent and stop playing with his WAN-KIN-DIK !

Now Jaggaloonies, you're all asking yourself what this shit is about, well my devoted fans (3 of them), this is about the "TRUTH" and the following Ten Commandments were given to St.Jagged by God (who?) so he could tell to you lot (he knows we're fucking Loony the three of us!)

Here we go:

The Ten Commandments according to God alias Mother Nature as given to St.Jagged (not that pretender, Moses!)

1) Thou shallt not believe in false Gods, thou shallt believe in only one God, Mother Nature.

2) Thou shallt be honest, truthful, respect the aged, weak, sick and teach your children the same.

3) Thou shallt accept the fact that Mother Nature designed man and woman to be the only true partnership in life, all other deviants of this form are not the TRUTH. They should be accepted and tolerated (nature is not perfect and humans certainly aren't) but never should they be put on the same level as MAN and WOMEN.

4) Thou shallt condemn all forms of sexual activities with children, animals, etc + those who are physically forced into such deeds. Those who perpetrate such activities are sick, should be condemned and removed from normal society.

5) Thou shallt never worship those who live only for greed and power. Thou shallt reject such philosophies, only worship those who respect and devote their lives for the good in mankind.

6) Thou shallt support a NEW WORLD ORDER, forget the egoistic direction mankind has taken, reject the system, reject politicians, religious leaders and others only interested in their egoistic power games.

7) Thou shallt support a group of non-corrupt selected leaders made up of WISE OLDER MEN and WOMEN who have had balanced, experienced lives. They only can lead mankind back to what it really should be doing, living in harmony, peace and parallel to Mother Nature.

8) Thou shallt not kill, rape, torture, or harm anyone for the sake of selfish power and greed. Those who commit such crimes should be condemned and removed from normal society.

9) Thou shallt acknowledge the fact that to create a "healthy" society one needs control. This control should be exercised by controlling bodies appointed and funded by the people. The laws they are required to implement should be based solely upon human decency, respect for one another and nature including all species. These laws and regulations shallt be determind by the non-corrupt, selected leaders made up of the WISE OLDER MEN and WOMEN.

10) Thou shallt believe in the good of mankind and reject false evil (evil is a human creation). All financial, natural, technological, scientific , etc, resources created by mankind should be re-invested solely for the good of mankind and not egoistic projects of which are valueless to mankind.
No man, woman, child should ever starve have to die of thirst, curable sicknesses or be made forcibly homeless through wars, conflicts, etc.

God/Mother Nature has spoken and so be it!

If mankind rejects these commandments the world will end in a self-made apocalyptical disaster whilst Mother Nature will continue without the HUMAN RACE!

Fuck me, St.Jagged has just woke up from his nightmare and what the shit has he been writing?

Jaggaloonies it wasn't St,Jagged, just the hand of God (who?), I swear to tell the TRUTH and nothing but the TRUTH, My Sweet Lord, Jesus, it was a bad dream!!

Any comments or solidarity on the bullshit above mail to L.Johnson@hetnet.nl serious or otherwise!

Chou bambinos, see you all in Utopia!

maandag 16 november 2009

HO, HO, HO, Santa Jagged is about to spread his Xmas greetings to his Jaggaloonies!

Hetro Santa Jagged enjoying Christmas at last!
Evil Santa Claus not enjoying Christmas but the rest of the year!

Jaggaloonies it´s nearly there, Christmas, in all of it´s glory and as you all know Santa Jagged hates the bullshit!

But Santa Jagged has got a couple of surprises for my Loony following, my dead goldfish, mingy flea bitten mutt, skinny starved cat called POSH and me ol slave, mate and Chinese hero the one and only "Meaty, throbbing WAN-KIN-DIK" and his earthquake damged, one wheeled rickshaw, "pull you lazy bastard!!"

Well this masterpiece was first issued over at that infamous satiricial site called, well you all fucking know, THE SPOOF!

It´s the first of many relating to the "Chrissy Crap Bullshit" so fucking enjoy it:

Father Christmas alias Santa has given a world-wide exclusive interview from his Igloo somewhere in melting Greenland wishing to clear all doubts about his sexuality!

Santa invited Bizarre reporters from the Sun but they were to busy chasing Cheryl Cole and Jordan so Jaggedone decided to send his intrepid CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) reporter, WANKIN WALRUS (son of the Icelandic Banker "B(j)orn Korruptasson and BJORK, very screwed up Icelandic Singer) to the press conference, here his report:

"I Father Christmas am not a Paedophile, never was and never will be, in fact I'm TRISEXUAL!"
"I do love Kiddies bouncing on my lap and admit sometimes having hot flushes between my thighs but this is only due to my appearances in warmer countries."

"Actually, over the last 2000 years Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer and me have had several love affairs. In the dark, lonely days in my igloo we often find comfort and certainly need the body warmth."

"I also love my male Dwarfs, we kill time between January/December and packing presents by having kinky Gay sessions, but now I'm getting too old and bending so low has become a problem!"
"At Christmas time I become hetro and look forward to kissing, bedding and shagging half-pissed Mummies before I leave to go back to my daily life in the Igloo, HO, HO, HO!"
Frozen stiff, intrepid CIA reporter, Wankin Walrus, has relayed this special Santa "Outing" to the Spoof so Mums and Dads don't have to worry about sending their Kiddie-Winkles to Santa this year!
PS: Wikipedia definition of TRISEXUAL = Hetro + Homo + Beasto!

There you all go Jaggaloonies, Santa Jagged at his most pervy, kinky and look after those Kiddies!!

HO.HO,HO FROM SANTA JAGGED, see you all again before Chrissy, evil bastards!

woensdag 4 november 2009

George Bush makes comeback and the world nears 3rd world war!

Satan love's Italy and George!!
George loves Satan and Italy!!!

Ja, Ja, Ja, my beloved Jaggaloonies, he's landed, St.Jagged is home!

He's been to Berlin, the outer cyber universe, between his ears (wax an all) and now St.jagged is back for a short visit to throw some shit at the fans (NO, not my fans, real fans!)

Let ol St.Jagged tell you all the latest, WAN-KIN-DIK has starred in a western parody over on the http://www.thespoof.com/ as leader of a Chink 300 Spartan army, a superhero, got married, stopped wanking , got divorced and now he's back pulling St.Jagged in his rickshaw (where he belongs, slave bastard!), worth a read actually!

A goat was the only candidate to compete with President Kazair in Afghanistan, so they gave Kazair the title, cut the goats balls off and sent them to Obama!!

Crucifixes have been banned in Italien schools, Swastikas, stars in half circles (Islamic symbol), white/black power symbols, hammer and sickles, jewish stars, etc, are all allowed!

Last not least, Crucifixes hanging upside-down, Anti-Christ, Devil, Satanic symbols no problem, but no fucking Catholic crucifixes in Italian schools, MAMA MIA, Jesus will be spinning on his cross!!

Last not least, here's a Spoof to tickle your fancies about our fav ex-President, Georgie Porgie Bush, have a laugh at this crap:

George Bush is alive and kicking especially after the latest gubernatorial races showed support for the ex=President and his Republican party!

Dissatisfaction with Obama over the economy, his colour, losing the Olympic bid, has lead many Yanks to believe, "Georgie wasn't that bad after all!"

"He won the war in Iraq, topped Saddam, kicked that bastard Bin Laden into exile, bombed the crap out of the Taliban, demolished those ugly Twin Towers in NY, was demented, docile and a born fucking idiot but still better than ol clever clogs, Obama!"

Coloured people in the US, Tony Blair, Margaret Thatcher, Putin, Benjamin Netanyahu, Robert Mugawe, etc, are also rallying behind George once more quoting, "we need more men like
George, blind, deaf, dumb and stupid, but a real Christian Yank at heart, aagh!"

Meanwhile, George, still in demented rehab, quoted, "I love you, God bless America, my ol buddies Bin Laden, Ghaddafi, Susan Palin (fine blow job if ever there was!) Bono, Adolf, Stalin, Mussolini, Mugave, Pinochet, Idi Amin........"

The nurses caring for George quickly rushed him back into his straightjacket and Hannibal mask, staunch Republican and real Californian, Arnie Schwarzenegger, gave the following statement on behalf of George, "no hasta la vista BABY!"

Well there you go Jaggaloonies, that's it for today, St.Jagged will be back soon with some more very "Jagged Truths" greetings from WAN-KIN-DIK, just whiplashed the bastard, tied him up , handcuffed him, life is a bitch and can get very HARD!!

Adios Amigos!!