dinsdag 18 augustus 2009

God (who?) and his Sidekick (who?) speak to St. Jagged!!

He looked slightly different whilst talking to St.Jagged but not his sidekick above, now what's his name S***N maybe?!

Hey Jaggedone's, yes muvva fuckers, God (who?) has discovered St.Jagged's (alias The Jaggedone) superb works on this ere blog site and across at the http://www.thespoof.com/ site and thinks it's about time that the world fucking knew it!!

No, no Jaggedone's ol St.Jagged has not converted, become religious or anything and his ol WAN-KIN-DIK is a fucking Buddhist anyway (believes he will return as a superior being next time, a white, albino, very fat, demon-eyed river rat, daft Chink DIK, the Chinks believe rats are superior beings and albino's are the DEVIL (who?) in person???) and St.Jagged thought he would share this monumentous happening with all of you (who?)!

The message from above was transmitted via The Spoof and that mob don't believe a shit either!

Don McLean once wrote a fabulous song about Vincent Van Gogh called Vincent (boring!) and one of his lines was:
" They didn't listen then, they're still not listening now, perhaps they never will!" or something like that!

Jaggedone's, the following piece can be ignored, but beware before you throw it in the rubbish bin, there might be some elements of the TRUTH hidden between the lines and the bullshit, beware!!!!

Here we go:

GOD gives exclusive interview to The Spoof implying his world is full of "Power Crazed, greedy Bastards!!

Written by Jaggedone
Tags: God

GOD (yes the real GOD, who?) has given an exclusive interview to the Spoof family of writers and readers. Astonished by this call from above (or below!) The Spoof, believing that the whole thing was a sham, decided eventually to send a representative to this astonishing, historical occasion reason being: The Spoof has no boundaries, heavenly or hellish! Anyway, The Spoof ordered Jaggedone and his CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) to go along as JO (Jaggedone, btw is a predominant Pyscho Socialite crap writer, a raving nutter and is suitable to face GOD, Jesus Budda also, but he's full of crap!) believes in the powers of a non-interventionist GOD, albeit not the GOD who is projected in human, wordly religions!

GOD appeared in his favourite disguise, a Clochard under a bridge in Amsterdam with his sidekick, a very huge albino rat with piercing red, satanic, demon-like eyes! Jaggedone trembling at his ageing knees asked GOD, "why have you called The Spoof for this exclusive interview and not the Pope for example?"
God answered, "Spoof writers and readers see the world in different dimensions, laugh at the world and are seriously funny, I the Almighty need to convey my message through those channels otherwise nobody will ever f*****g believe me."

"Those bullshitting, hypocritical, lying, earthly religious leaders are so full of crap and religious dogma they could never tell the TRUTH!"

Jaggedone asked GOD, "but why now and what should the Spoof do?"

"I gave the world Jesus, Ghandi, Martin Luther King, Mother Teresa, The Elephant Man, etc, as positive examples, mankind ignored them, so be it!"

"I gave the world Hitler, Mao, Nero, Stalin, Ghengis Khan, wicked dictators, Egyptian/Roman Emperors, evil bastards all of them and the world still hasn't learnt to live in peace, so be it!"

"I've warned the world many times not to destroy my beautiful trees, natural habitats, their animals, etc, etc, and now, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, so be it!"

"The ice caps will melt, typhoons, earthquakes, floods, tsunamis, etc, will cause havoc, death and destruction, i.e. This weekend in Taiwan, gigantic avalanches of mud caused death and mayhem because there are no trees to stop them!"

"Stupid ignorant people have ignored the signs in their pursuit for power, greed, and false GODS, OK, so be it!"

"Mankind will pay the price for his failings that is my message to The Spoof, their honourable writers and readership, so be it!"

Jaggedone now alone (his cowardly cockroaches scampering for the nearest sewer hole) with GOD and his Sidekick (who?) asked a final question, "GOD, how should any sane mother fucker believe this utter bullshit?"

GOD answered "that's the reason why I'm telling The Spoof, as for the rest, well I don't give a shit, so be it!!"
JO, blinked for one second in disbelief, the Clochard (GOD) and his albino Sidekick, simply disappeared, so was it!!!
There it is Jaggedone's, take it or leave, you can even wipe your arses with it, but never underestimate the "POWER OF ???!" (WHO?)
Godbye, Aufwiedersehen and Amen!!!!

zondag 2 augustus 2009

You've all missed St.Jagged, I know!!!!

Pic 1 = Camel seen not in Egypt, no, no, parking place at Tesco's, Birmingham, UK
Pic 2 = Camel shitting on parking place at Tesco's, Birmingham, UK
Pic3 = No, no, not the Tower of Babylon, Tesco's Birmingham, UK
Devoted Jaggedone's guess who's back, yes your old wind-upper and raving, loony ranter, St.Jagged!!!

Holidays, work, Spoofing it up at http://www.thespoof.com/, Mum's Funeral (bless her!) all these things take time and St.Jagged is now back to shock the fuck out of you all by telling you of his "SCARY" experience at a certain Tesco's (supermarket giant in the UK) around Birmingham UK!

Fuck me Jaggedone's, St.Jagged was in England but he could have been in the seething, twin fucking Towers of Babylon, anywhere, apart from good ol stiff upper lipped, UK!

Whilst doing a bit of shopping in downtown "Brummie" country we decided to stop and shop at Tesco's, it became slightly suspicous by the amount of camels crap and parked camels scattered all over the parking areas!

OK, so we ventured in after zig-zagging through the camels and their crap, were confronted by several different Nationalities exiting the building, "non-white Babylonians," St.Jagged thought!

St.Jagged, his Missus St.Jagged and Junior St.Jagged stared at each other and thought, "where the fuck have we landed."

Spot a white face and I'll give you a "Tenner"! We entered and low and behold, Burqas, headscarves, turbins, Blacks, Chinks, Asians, all-coloureds anything but white, behind the cash desks, the punters, every-fucking-where!!!

Now St.Jagged is certainly not a racist and in previous written masterpieces had mentioned the changing face of the UK and most of Europe, but that was a fucking shock to the ol "Jagged-system" we could have been anywhere and nowhere, just a conglomeration of nationalities heaped upon each other and not an indiginous white caucasian face in sight, apart from St.Jagged and his family!!!

And this in the middle of that once so green, mighty, proud country, rulers of the world, fucking ENGLAND!

What the fuck is happening, where the hell do they all come from and when the hell is it going to stop!!?

The rich, middle - class "True Brits" lock themselves up behind their expensive households, shop only in their rich and middle-class supermarkets away from the scum. The immigrants multiply and multiply, spreading their breeding zones and habitats in wide circles around the major cities. Whilst those rich and fortunate hide from the TRUTH (what!) and the lower class indiginous Brits grin, suffer and flock to the fucking BNP (British Nationalist Party)!

Where is the balance and when will a race of people eventually become extinct? St.Jagged also visited the birth place of Charles Darwin, Shrewsbury, responsible for, well you all know fucking what, EVOLUTION and his only the strongest survive theories.

Charles, right under your noble nose evolution is taking place and this once so proud nation called Great Britain with it's original inhabitants, Northern European, white caucasians is gradually becoming EXTINCT!!!!

St.Jagged took his ol one wheeled, rickshaw pulling, earthquake damaged, chink slave, WAN-KIN-DIK along on his holidays, and whilst WAN-KIN his DIK, he commented, "this is a country I want to live in, multi-culti, bullshit and freedom for everyone!"

St.Jagged promptly buried his WAN-KIN-DIK in a pile of camels shit and told him to FUCK OFF or he would be sent back to his real home, still earthquake damaged Chink land! WAN-KIN-DIK slapped his chains on and hastily started pulling!!
Well Jaggedone's that's it for now, more Jagged masterpieces over on http://www.thespoof.com/ and St.Jagged will soon be back to please his multi-million fan base including his upside down swimming dead goldfish, mingy dog, violent pig, scabby cat and stuffed scorpion called STING (can't sing either!)