woensdag 30 september 2009

Satan's in the News as usual + his ol sidekick Adolf and Madonna is marrying her baby, JESUS!!

1) Satan in the news as ever!

2) Madonna with her "Baby" Jesus from behind!
3) Charlie manson to star as him above, only this time the real thing!!!

Here we go, here we go, here we go!!

Jaggedone's, just landed for a "Quickie" (haven't told the wife yet!!) lots has happened over the last couple of weeks, but the most fantastic thing to happen is that "Horny Grandma" Madonna is about to marry her son "Jesus" in a mega-religious experience, happening. Jesus will shed his poorly rags and suck Madonna's (no not her leather pussy!) millions away!

St.Jagged thought Jesus was an honest beggar, son of God (who?) broke the bread, healed the lepers, walked on water, recalled Dig Lazarus Dig, etc!

Well not anymore Jaggo's (new word for my loony worshippers!) Jesus has been reborn, this time as a pretty boy model, shagging the shit out of his MAMA, Madonna and has been catapulted to multi-millionaire status via the cross - ing and catwalk, "thankyou God, Dad (who?), this time around it's much more pleasant!" he prayed!

Roman Polanski has been arrested for shagging a 13 year old Lolita in Switzerland, only problem is the 13 year old is now a 105, but nobody told the Americans, who have been pursuing ol Polanski for the last 50 odd years!

They've got their man locked up in a Swiss cell and are waiting to extradite the creepy, paedophile, film maker!

When Roman is jailed he has promised to remake Rosemary's Baby and offer Charles "The Demon" Manson a role in it as Satan, to thank him for slitting open his ex-missus, Sharon Tate, lovely gesture!

Charlie Manson has accepted and promised to sacrifice 5 of his female worshippers in a Satanic ritual, removing their pussies and heads then inviting Hannibal Lector for dinner, of course, evil bastard (well he is Satan!)!

The world of politics never changes, corrupt, corrupt and even more corrupt, even Obama is stooping so low that he has to insult that "crap rapper", Keyne West, for a bit of extra publicity!

Nature keeps causing havoc, Taiwan mudslides, Australian clouds of red dust, Tsunamis, floods in the Philippines, millions destined to starve in Africa (so what's fucking new!)

Israeli Nazis refuse to move an inch on the Palestinian thing, Iran and North Korea shooting their pea-shooter rockets towards Israel and South Korea respectively, for a bit of rocket salad practice!

Yeah, yeah, Jaggo's nothing much ever changes, bullshit and bollocks on a daily basis, only St Jagged remains perfectly sane with his ol mate WAN-KIN-DIK to keep him company whilst occupying his place under a bridge in Amsterdam thinking:

"What would have happened if Hitler had won the war," I guess we'll never know!!!!

Well Jaggo's and fellow "Nutters" adios amigos from ol St.Jagged, he's heading back over to the http://www.thespoof.com/ for a bit of bantering with the other "Spoof Loonies" and keep them ol WAN-KIN-DIKS stiff and fucking hard!!!

maandag 14 september 2009

St.Jagged pissed and "STIFF" as his ol WAN-KIN-DIK!!

German horny Frauleins boozing Viagra-Beer!
Unemployed Dildos, sagging, soogy and uselesss!!

JA, JA, those fucking Krauts again, beating the world hands down at everything, Mercedes, BWM, Bosch, Siemens, shooting penalties, winning footy world cups and now, shock, horror, fucking VIAGRA BEER!

Ja, Jaggedone's it's true, THE TRUTH even, Germans have invented a beer not only to get males pissed out of their brains, no, that's not enough, they've added Viagra and now the world will get as "STIFF" as starch and horny on the way!! (Beware mini-skirted Barmaids!!)

A Kraut in his private brewery somewhere in downtown Germany was fiddling with his Kapputer maschine, got horny, stuck his "Dickstick" in a litre of best Deutsche Pils, mixed a viagra tablet and "bobs your uncle" three hours of hot internet WAN-KIN with a blonde, buxom Deutsche Fraulein, first time in three years, oogh, aagh!!

Now Jurgen Brauer (Brewer in English!) has decided to sell his "Viagra Beer" worldwide after testing it on his very saggy workforce, they certainly "STIFFENED UP", and are now busy "Gang-Banging" their female colleagues over the lunch tables, Sieg Heil!!

Jurgen hopes he will never have "Stiff" opposition and has globally patented his beer already!!

All German males and their wives are craving for the product whilst the Dildo industry has been severly "Six Packed" sideways!

Reasons; lonely wives of beer binging German males have been buying dildo's for a bit of vibrating comfort! All they do now is top their hubbies up with Viagra Beer, their dildo's can stay dry, gather dust and only be used when he's visiting the girlfriend!!

Jurgen has already designed labels with hot, sexy, blond, buxom Frauleins whipping the sagging dicks of beer binging males and boy does it get them "HARD!"

The beer will lead Germany out of recession, become a winner (as usual!) conquer the world whilst the rest of the beer boozing world looks at Germany scoring even more penalties as the others fail miserably!

JA, JA, Jaggedone's, who really won the fucking war?? St.Jagged is off to buy a six-pack for himself and his ol WAN-KIN-DIK, see you all in 2 weeks when the "STIFFNESS" wears off!!!

vrijdag 4 september 2009

Proof that TheSpoof.com is a high security "Loony Bin"!!!

Avid, pathetic but very true Jaggedone's, St.Jagged has been travelling the cyber universe and has now returned from his billion mile travelling stints to reveal the TRUTH about where St.Jagged (disguised as Jaggedone!) has really been!!!

No Jaggedone's he's not been in cyber bordellos of porn shoots, but he has been to a totally "Loony" mental ayslum called the "Happy Farm for Retards" over at http://www.thespoof.com/!
Whilst in captivity at the "Happy Farm" St.Jagged writes under the alias of Jaggedone for this bunch of nutters and now I thought I would reveal the TRUTH behind some of the writers who are locked away and participate in the Asylum!

No Jaggedone hasn't "Flew over the cuckoos nest" (Jack Nicholson is like Peter Pan compared to this fucking mob!!) he is an outpatient at the Loonybin, just visiting in times when the uncontrollable urge to take the piss out of the world takes over, prozac fails, so a quick visit to
The Spoof is a certain cure!

The Spoof writers are locked away in padded cells and only receive 2 hours "happy time" daily, in this time they sprint for the computers in a mad rush to get their Spoof stories published!
When completed they are escorted back to their cells in straightjackets, locked away until the bell rings, then the whole procedure repeats itself!

The top ten writers are the main nutters and strive to keep their positions safe, points are given for the "best" or most ludicrous spoofs! Those who achieve most points get bonuses in the form of dry bread and cockroaches and a pencil, those who fail get fuck all and are forced to writing their draft Spoofs in their own blood, UUGH!Life is shit as a "Nutty Spoofer"!!

Any global issue that happens is turned into a satirical Spoof for the cyber world to devour but behind these stories are a team of complete debauched maniacs including myself!

The stories are filtered by our "Big Nasty Brother" better known as Mark, or just plain old Hitler!
Spoof writers are guarded by Jackbooted guards wearing Hannibal Lector masks (the masks make the writers feel more comfortable!) and only come out after dark!

Jaggedone's I'd like to give you some descriptions of the main "Loony" writers, here we go:

VC better known as Victor Nicholas = A total one-line grizzly screwball who can only count to one because of a piece of shrapnel sticking in his head. It happened in the great war 1914/18 at St Ypres, VC forgot to duck!

Earl Grey = Russian aristocrat who swallowed the bullet, never bats but misses nothing, totally batty and constantly recites Trotsky in ancient Mongolese!

Skoob99 = Total nutter who sees only "Red" always wears a straightjacket because if he turns "Blue" a "Red Hulk" appears, is forced to write with his toes, ingrowing!
Jesus Budda = Absolute Pyscho, eats little children, fucks his goldfish and nails himself to the cross, calls all Buddhas Burmese Arsefuckers and lives in a world according to the gospel of
Charles Manson, alias "The Satanic Killer"!!

Fergus McCarthy = Papal Pitbull and only known non-gay catholic priest on the planet, kills Onion sellers and gay San Franciscan monks, only happy when reading the bible up-side down or inside out!

Madame Bitters = Loony whiplashing Dominatrix, has claws like a White Sharks teeth, rips all male Spoofers to shreads if they dare say "Pussy" and never lands on her feet, except while exerting punishment to males "Doggy Style" and likes a pint of best bitter!

Jalaponman = Cracked somewhere between El Paso and Bognor Regis, ever since then dreams of raping "Red Hot Chilli Peppers" and penetrating innocent onions, fucking weirdo!

Morse = Naval nutter who only sets for sail at low tides in his Submarine, ends up grounded and signals for help via Skoob in his "Red" Submarine, one as nutty as the other!

Smurfette = Turned Blue and very "Double Dutch" asked her Vater "Abraham" for forgiveness and he banished her to the Spoof!

Queen Mudder = The Queen of all fucking Pyscho nutters and absolute numero uno! Respected by all other Pyscho's, Jaggedone once tried to ant hill up her ever open thighs, the crush was to much and killed 5000 braincells in Jagged's head, only one left now!

Well Jaggedone's there are plenty more GAA GAA writers at the happy farm, to finish I'll just one line a few (sorry VC!)

San Francisco Onion = Boring US nutter locked up with
Buckwheats Buck fizz = No adjectives available for this fucking weirdo!
Frankie J = Pyschopathic word cruncher and fucks everything with 2 2 four legs!
Monkey Woods = Bangkok Hotel resident ( well he imagines he's in Bangkok anyway!) local resident and mad as the Maddest Hatter at Ascot, supports Hull, proof!
The list of Mentals writing for the Spoof is endless, but here you have a few of them, worth a read and a chuckle, but don't ever dare cross Jesus Buddhas bath robes, Pyscho Hitchcock's inevitable!
Well Jaggedone's there you have it, the Happy Farm over at http://www.thespoof.com/!
As for St.Jagged he's just whipped the butt of his Chink slave WAN-KIN-DIK for being a lazy bastard and not pulling St.Jagged out of the spoof "Loonybin" quick enough with his one wheeled, earthquake damaged rickshaw, guess ol St.Jagged will just have to wait for the next "Happy hour"!!!