donderdag 26 maart 2009

High flying Condor desires to be the majestic Blue Whale

Jaggedone's now you're going to really experience the freeflowing, majestic St.Jagged at his insane best: There's just to much misery and crap going down to feel even the slightest impulses of sarcasm, satire or downright cynicism (as fucking usual) OK maybe Obamas flirt with the the mass media landing with a belly flop after telling everybody he plays ten bin bowls looking like a spastic, shame on you muvva fucker, excellent diplomatic start to your presidency.

All handicapped people please send their protests direct to the corrupt White (or should it now be the Black House?) and ask Obama to hang his great black balls in the middle of a Ten Pin Bowling alley for them to be aimed at with heavyweight ten pin bowling balls, OUCH!!!

Apart from that blooper it's all doom and gloom as usual; fucking Israel sneeking behind the UN back door after blatantly throwing white phosphorous at the Palestinians and denying having anything to do with it. Maybe it was their Hebrew God (who?) sending bolts of the shit from his safe haven in the twisted minds of his Jewish flock and forgetting that he bombarded a UN complex on the way, burning and maiming innocent civilians, shame on you GOD (who?).

Anyway whats new, fuck all, the Jews destroyed the Gaza Strip, every other muvva fucker is being asked to send their donations to rebuild the shithole whilst the Israelis crawl back behind their fortress called The Promised Land or in Jewish/Hebrew, Auschwitz mark 2!!!

St.Jagged didn't really want to touch on the wrong doings of the human race once more, boring fucking boring, so Jaggedone's fasten your seat belts for a trip into the flowing sand dunes of this serial Pyscho - Socialist (thankyou the masked and very evil Slipknot!). Enjoy the trip across the mighty Sahara desert between the over waxed ears of the one and only St.Jagged and his merry ol WAN-KIN-DIK. Looking like a dehydrated camel whilst dragging St.Jagged with his one wheeled, earthquake damaged rickshaw, without food or drink since 30 days and just about to be kicked in the goolies by St.Jagged for not keeping up the pace, evil bastard St.Jagged!!!

Object of the invasion into the desert - ed braincells of St.Jagged, to find the real TRUTH(what??)

Here we go:

The Andean Condor flies above the mighty peaks of his mountaneous homeland, peering out of his eagle, hawkeyed eyes from a thousand metres up high wishing he was for once in his life a member of the gigantic blue whale family, diving to such oceanic depths of which the pitiful human race can only dream of.

The desert dunes blow eastwards as the Condor flies westward to avoid minute particles of sand blurring his vision and perception of the great blue whale diving gracefully into the dark oceans covering the wonderful planet called earth.
The blue whale descends, the Condor ascends to breathless heights way above mankinds limitations and thinks "what is that silverwinged object with fire spouting out of its rear end, is it a bird, is it Superman, or is it mans pathetic attempt to reach the outer universe by way of blasting trillions of dollars into space for the futile results of a few scientific experiments?"

Andean Condors prefer to concentrate their efforts on surviving by hawkeying their prey from lofty distances, attacking and devouring. Only when they desire to be a blue whale for a day does their fantasy drift like the desert sands below them knowing fully that it's a desire and can never be the TRUTH (what?).

The majestic blue whale spouts its jet streams high into the heavens and fears not for its children being attacked by the predatory, great white shark, only mankind is foolish enough to hunt and kill the great blue whale. A predator lost in his greed and power, sunk in his selfrighteousness and imperialistic crusades of futile advancements.

As the fire - spouting missile disappears beyond the clouds of ignorance the timeless sands of time relentless in their pursuit of expansion aided by ignorance, ugliness and blindness blow towards the vast, deep blue oceans, where the battle is lost as waves ripple gently behind the gigantic torso of the magnificent blue whale and his vocal family fearing only the harpoons.

The giant Condor in his lofty heights dives rapidly above the spouting blue whales and feels envy and sadness. A solitary beast wishing for once to change his skin for that of his mammal counterpart. He spots from a distance balls of fire, bellowing smoke, the sound of confusion, hate, blood, revenge as the mighty volcano blasts its unstoppable energy into the clear blue skies.
An ensuing tsunami raises its ugly head and speeds towards the land of man, the blue whales, masters of the oceans, ride the speeding, passing tsunami as it accelerates to the lands of confusion and blindness, crashing with enormous power over the shores of concrete, destroying everything in its path. The Andean Condor safe in the havens of 5000 metres altitude observes from his hawkeyed position as the devastion continues, the blue whale smiles, his family continue their annual journey to pastures abundant, without fear!

The desert sands of time buckle, sway and submerge under the colossal power unleashed by the allies in this ultimate act of natural, sweet revenge. The silver missile continues its wasteful journey observing from between the skies at night below, nowhere to go, nowhere to return to, just hopelessness and limitless, black space, pursuing the journey into their ultimate TRUTH!

Fuck me Jaggedones not bad for a demented Pyscho - Socialist who never takes himself seriously, only the voices ringing in St.Jaggeds over - waxed ears are taken serious!

St.Jagged and his WAN-KIN-DIK will return from their majestic journey soon (if muvva fucking WAN-KIN-DIK doesn't die of dehydration and St.Jagged doesn't perish searching for the oasis within his very JAGGED MIND!

Adios from somewhere amongst the sandy Maroccan dunes blowing in and out towards Mecca, Jerusalem, the Vatican and any other religious Atlantis available (where?)

dinsdag 17 maart 2009

Utopian Misery!!!

Misery, misery and even more fucking misery, since the last time St.Jagged surfed the cyber waves enough shit has happened to write a book about, shootings in the US, family father kills his family, nine innocents dead and then tops himself. In Germany raving kid of 17, slaughters his classmates, couple of teachers, innocent by - passers and then tops himself!

The financial misery continues with millions of innocent hard - working people being made redundant, worldwide thousands of businesses going broke, the homeless figures increase by the second, soup kitchens increase by the second and the whole stinking, capitalistic, greedy world is in a state of turmoil.

Not to even mention our everlasting misery shit - holes, Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, Africa generally, Latin/South America, America, Eastern Europe, Asia, China, Japan you name it, and you can be certain the shit is constantly hitting the fan and spreading its evil stench all over the planet.

"St.Jagged, why are you in such a negative, nihilistic, foul fucking mood" (St.Jagged's innerconscience awakes and gives ol St.Jagged a long, hard kick in the cohones), "why don't you just jump off of the next bridge, jump in front of the next express train, drive against the next concrete bridge, take a hundred sleeping tablets, shoot your fucking senile brains out" (St.Jagged's innerconscience is teasing St.Jagged because he fucking knows that the Psycho - Socialite and his ol mate, WAN-KIN-DIK has many epic tales still to tell his readers and he certainly won't give into the shit hitting the global fans before all of his epic stories are told!) "So fuck off innerconscience and go and jump in a river full of flesh - eating, starving pyrannhas, this ol St.Jagged is here to stay. Also, fuck all of you greedy bastards who have caused so much financial misery and especially, fuck off big time to those producers of violent, evil computer games who triggered that sad, braindamaged muvva fucking 17 year old German who slaughtered those innocent victims on his way out from this planet."
Jaggedone's, happy fucking days and St.Jagged hopes sincerely that none of you were or are caught up in the crap!!

Anyway here goes, happy story for the day:

Once upon a time somewhere on the planet Utopia there was no money, no greed, no hatred, no power and nature and mankind live in harmony. Mankind respected nature and only extracted what was necessary to survive, a roof over everybodies head, enough food, water and clothing for everybody. There was no hunger or famines, those countries more fortunate on Utopia assisted their less fortunate neighbours with natural resources and aid. There were no wars, conflicts, jealousy, criminality, no enviromental raping, no cruelty to the wonderful animal kingdom, everybody, humans and animals just lived happily side by side and never abusing their rights to exist.
Nature was allowed to replenish it's resources without man's interference, no need for luxury cars, watches, jewels, houses, planes, etc. Just good old basic resources, which were plentiful and certainly enough to satisfy the whole Utopian population.

Just the plain old requirements needed for survival and the continuation of the Utopian race.

Until one day God (who?) looked down from his lofty heights and thought, "fuck me, this is to good to be the TRUTH, I must interfere and create a material world full of hate, greed, poverty, selfishness, sickness, etc, etc."

"I must plant the seeds of seperation into some of my chosen ones, send them out to spread their gospels of a seperatist society in the name of their GODS (who?), cause them to slaughter the unbelievers and believers of the other Gods (who?), create social and material differences, adopt only those who are prepared to follow only my GOD (who?) and the rest shall perish in the hells of Satan's (who the fuck is he?) army."

The plan was executed and the chosen ones chosen, 20,000 years later and trillions of dead victims slaughtered Utopia was no longer Utopia. Greed, power, selfishness, poverty, destruction of the Utopian nature, self annihilation and oblivion was about to be completed.

The timeless God (who?) in his lofty heights peered down upon his once so wonderful planet called Utopia, smiled and thought, "my work is nearly complete and my TRUTH has been proven once more, plant the seeds of all evil into peoples heads and they will obey and follow that evil, forget the TRUTH, join the crusades of greed, power, seperation and ultimately, they will self -destruct!"

Jaggedone's the moral of this pathetic load of ol shit hitting the fan: Stay as you fucking are and you will never want to be in Utopia!!!

"Thank God (who the fuck is this God, your God, my God, her God, his God, the cats fucking God?????) this load of ol crap is over," St.Jagged's innerconscience sighs a sigh of relief, refrains from jumping into a pyrannah infested river, kicks fucking St.Jagged in the bollocks once more and tells him to, "grab his old Chinese slave and companion WAN-KIN-DIK , go for a long walk to the edge of Utopia, take an enormous leap for the good of the Utopian race off of the highest peak available and fly like an alien to the next victim of God's TRUTH (who, fucking him again!!) a planet called Earth!!

Sorry Jaggedone's, St Jagged was just déjá vu - ing once more in the empty voids of his lost universes between his wax filled ears, bald ugly head and snotty, runny nose, adios amigos, see you all fucking soon!!!

dinsdag 3 maart 2009

Cockroach Army / The Elephant Man / Cobweb Execution or Inevitable Suicide?!

Jaggedone's as you all know ol St.Jagged and his metally ol WAN-KIN-DIK love a bit of ol metal music and tends to cyber drift off to his favourite forum to confront other fans of the one and only innovative, metal, fantastic band called TOOL.

Now due to the fact that St.Jagged tends to be a bit "wayward" in his views, this obviously leads to conflict with some other indoctrinated, narrow - minded, dogmatised Tool fans surfing the same forums (not all by the way!).

Below, Jaggedone's you can read some responses written by ol St.Jagged to these rather odd specimens of the human race of which they spit, shit and crap upon whilst ol St.Jagged laughs all the way to the bog with his ol mate WAN-KIN-DIK singing a merry ol Tool tune called Stinkfist (nothing to do with the way he wipes his bum by the way or lack of bog paper in the Jagged household, recession is biting and we are down to our last 1965 copies of the Sun, Daily mirror and the scratchy Times, they only write a load of shit anyway!).

The pictures above will give you all a rough directive of what the subjects discussed were about, have a lovely Jagged ol time scratching your balls and wondering what the fuck the "Mad Hatter" from Jaggedworld is on about, read on my beloved one's:

The Cockroach Army and The Elephant Man
The creator unleashed his fury in the form of his Cockroach Army on the blistering desert wastelands of the human mind after observing the destruction and rape of his once so imperfect planet.Observing from his lofty heights a solitary tear slowly trickled down his barren, boned cheek, "oh God (who?) what have I done" as the ravaging army of cockroaches forcibly entered the human minds with only one objective, DESTROY without redemption.The Creator realis (z)ing that there was no return, no present and no forward took the ultimative apocolyptic decision to annihilate his own creations before they in turn destroy his initial creation, his blue imperfect planet.The devastation was complete with only skeletons surviving the savage attacks of the black, multi legged, razor sharp teethed beasts from hell (where?) left to smoulder in the raging heat of the sandy deserts within the human minds.The creator wished no signs of human existence to be spared as his second attack of blood sucking maggots and leaches swarmed the starched skeletons devouring their bones and leaving no visible signs of the human race ever having populated his so imperfect creation, except one, perfection in imperfection, The Elephant Man.Redeemed because of his beauty, his elegance, his intellect, his grace, his manners, his caring, his understanding, his survival, his torment, his enslavery, his normality, his existence between those who thought they were perfect, his survival between those who thought they were powerful and those who discriminate against others who are different, his ability to see from within the mirror, his gift of listening to the beautiful silence, behind the sack with two slits hidden from those perfect beings who observed the observer and suffered for their ignorance."My task is complete" the Creator thought, silently in his lofty heights above his so imperfect creation, nothing can destroy the beauty, only itself, will determine its fate from within the perfect beehive shaped caverns what will be or not?
Cobweb Execution or Inevitable Suicide?
PS:Unaware of its ultimate destiny the PREY in its frenzied, pathetic, attempts to escape from the intricate, perfectly spun cobweb is doomed, whilst the slumbering Predator remains in his dormant state, receiving only the vibrations transmitted from the futile attempts of escape by it's catch.Time passes, the thrashing, uncontrollable movements increase into a final, desperate attempt to flee, entwined and in panic the final breaths of suffocation, pulsating, send known vibrations to the slumbering, waiting Predator, "it will be soon" he thinks "no need for PREDATORIAL VIOLENCE, just a waste of breath."The drama reaches it's ultimate, callous scene as all vibrations cease, deathly silence, clinical murder without a trace or just one more inevitable suicide? Awaking from his slumber the Predator approaches his lifeless PREY and devours with pleasure, leaving no traces of a crime scene, just the perfect, inevitable suicide.
Hopefully you can all plough through the twisted psyche of the one and only, very sad St.Jagged and come up with a solution what the fuck he's on about / Goodbye from St. Jagged sucking his victims blood dry, strung up on a balancing act somewhere between silk lace stockings and the spiders pubic hairs!!! (dirty muvva fuckers!)