woensdag 30 juli 2008

Dead End holidays with Osama/Obama airlines/ very cheap!

Back from BB land and full of fresh crap (whats new!), ready to replace your cold turkey with golden shots of addictive White Hot Blogs, who needs a shot of heroine when you can read this bullshit (better than needles in your veins at any time, although they do have addictive properties which, could lead either to demention or insanity. At least St.Jagged's blogs don't cause rotting teeth, terrible, shocking and very painful terminations in fact they can be quite medicinal when not used in overdosed proportions or for curing haemorides!).

Guess who's back, Jagged's back, yes, after two weeks of lazing around in the BB rain forests and avoiding cancerous sunrays (not too difficult in BB land) St.Jagged has returned and is full of the latest happenings which, could well have altered mankinds path to oblivion over the past two weeks, i.e:

Obama in Israel, Palestine (well quick five minutes and out of that shithole!) Berlin (ICH BIN EIN BERLINER!! right colour wrong time, should have said that in 1938, welcome to fucking Auschwitz!), Paris, and last not least, jolly ol London Town, centre of the universe, and a must for all up and coming world leaders to shag (oops, sorry, shake hands with) the Queen, shag (oops, sorry, shake hands with) Gordon Brown and tell the rest of the UK, " we need your troops in Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran, Lichtenstein (haven for laundering drug barons, Al Quaida, Mafia, etc, billions, must be worth starting a war for!) and wherever the US is fighting for upholding and creating, pure white or black, honest and very Christian based democracies." (Is he just a dark coloured version of ol Bushy Boy or is he really an extreme moslem terrorist who has infiltrated the Democratic party, posing as the reincarnated M.L.King, will win the next US election, turn the ol US into an extreme Islamic republic and invite Bin Laden to be his new number 2? Hilary you're mega - out of the running for that position, although Big Bill's dick is still waiting to be sucked, "I never had sex with that women or Hilary, never," quote, unquote!!).

We True - Brits are not falling for any of that old crap, so Georgie (Mark 2) Brown promptly reassured Barack, "of course ol Bean, ol Chappie, we have Dads Army (minimum age 76 by the way!) in reserve and will send them post haste to those war zones and kick the fucking shit out of Talibans, Moslem Terrorists, stray dogs, dead rats, and any other muvva fucker who dare raises his hands against the might of the US/UK allied forces.

"We fucked Hitler and we will certainly fuck those bearded morons throwing first world war, antique Russian bombs at our high-tec equipped superior military forces."

Anyway, Obama has fucked off back to the US to shag (oops. sorry, shake hands with ol cowboy) Mr Mc Cain. Then cover his ugly, balding, grey haired, wrinkled head with a blood ridden Ku Klux Klan hoodie, tell him who the real superior race is and win the November showdown, surprise, fucking, surprise!
What else has happened in the last two weeks?

  1. Terrorist bombs here, terrorist bombs there, daily dose of horror on the ol Aljazeera Int.
  2. ("something's will never change", Bruce Hornsby's one mega hit from way back when!)

  3. Oil, food prices jacked up to record, exorbitant levels.

  4. The global poor, impoverished, and downtrodden get poorer and poorer whilst the "Fat Cats" are laughing all the way to their Lichtenstein banks (Jagged has mentioned this volatile war zone once already!)

  5. BP, SHELL, EXON, TEXACO etc, announce record multi - billion profits, WOW!!

  6. Mr "Golden Cohones" Sir (fuck off) Richard Brandson offers maiden flights to those "Fat Cats" creaming off their billion bonuses, on his brand new Space Toy at 250.000 bucks a flight and the "Fat Cats" gratefully accept, "peanuts actually ol chap," they chuckle in very posh Oxford/Cambridge accents (Mugawe studied there too!)

  7. Remember Space Shuttle STS-541-L (Lightning could strike twice if we're lucky, evil bastard!!!)

  8. The Bejing Shambolympics are about to be unleashed upon us, relying on a massive use of military force to keep the unclean at a distance, surpress all forms of protests against the Chinese parlament relating to abuse of human rights and shove anybody into "luxury" Chinese prisons who dare say BOO to the Chinese government, "oh what a very sporty affair indeed."

  9. Bla, Bla, Bla!

    Good news: Oh, ST.Jagged forgot; mega traffic jams everywhere, global warming, volatile weather attacking the planet (must be them fucking Aliens or Mr X, Mr Big or even, dare I mention him, GOD), Bushie Boy is one month nearer to his illustrious end, Ronaldo is staying at Man Utd (maybe).

    Last not least my adopted, half - starved, earthquake damaged, one wheeled rickshaw puller come Samaritan called WAN-KIN-DIK has been offered a job in Bejing pulling overweight, multi - millionaire olympic functionairies around in his earthquake damaged rickshaw for the duration of the "Shambolympics," I told him to "fuck off to China, earn his paltry wage, give St.Jagged 60% of his takings, return to the Jagged Residence (very posh, you know!) and serve the Merry ol Jagged Shaggers for the rest of his miserable, shitty life, and he agreed, good on you WAN-KIN-DIK!

    Faithful Jagged one's, have a happy package holiday in the cancerous sun and don't get your asses burnt off!!


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