maandag 14 april 2008

Shambolympic Steroids

Fuck me they do work after all, only the sex is wrong, oops! This is St.Jagged after taking a crash course of female, hormone, steroids whilst attempting to qualify for this years majestic and very clean (no polluted air in that part of the planet!) sports meeting deep in the heart of downtown Bejing, Peking, call it what you fucking want.
St.Jagged was preparing for the "UK womens synchrone wanking marathon team" and thought if he took an overdose of female hormone steroids he would make the final selection but unfortunately the steroids were not fucking female (ok there is one advantage my dick has grown 10 inches and my clit shrunk 50 inches, life isn't so bad after all!), as you can see!
Oh well St.Jagged will just have to try for the "UK mens synchrone wanking marathon team" instead and may he stay as horny to the end as the rest of the team (without the use of illegal substances such as viagra, shock, horror, how dare he!!) and wank his way to a gold medal in the 2008 Shambolympics in sunny, very clean, not polluted and very downtown Pe or Be Jing.
What a load of ol bollocks this 5 ringed mammoth meeting of oversized, overdosed, junked up so - called, honest sportsmen / women is turning out to be.
Yeh, Yeh, you're all thinking, here goes that grumpy ol muvva fucker again, ranting off about the olympics and depicting everything and everybody concerned with the shambles as being corrupt and perverse, well fuck me thats something new!
Well St.Jagged has one opinion about the Shambolympics, get rid of them and replace them with some real sport, i.e.
  • Throwing the muvva fucking junked up participants to the lions.
  • Throw the fucking corrupt organising commitee and their sponsors to the lions as well.
  • Scratch your eyeballs out fights between overdosed - steroid, female shotputters and butch, bitch, skinny and very boney male, African long - distance runners (they always win anyway!)
  • Armoured to their eyeballs, Roman gladiators against corrupt sponsors (Coca Cola, Mc Donalds, Nike, Adidas, etc, etc) in fights to the utter, utter death. The losers get their fucking corrupt heads sliced off in public and nailed on stakes to remind the rest of the world what a complete load of bullshit the whole spectacle has become!
  • Wargames between non - armed, peaceful loving, Tibetan monks against the might of the dictator led, Chink army, in a bid to solve the rightful ownership of their mountainous, peaceful and very beautiful homeland (well thats a fucking gold medal for the Chinks before the games have even started unless we feed the tibetan monks with illegal substances, turn them into a hoard of mega - muscular, unbeatable, aggressive morons who overthrow the Chinks army and create the 10th wonder of the world alongside that other great wonder, the Chinese fucking wall, lock the Chinks up behind the wall and throw away the key. Who needs a strong economic China anyway? Oops sorry, St.Jagged forgot, the child slave labour perbetrators operating under the disguise of honest, christian global players, looking to increase their profits ten - fold, driving basic food prices fucking sky high, make the wretched and poor even more wretched and poor and not to be forgotten, our saviours of the environment, whilst pursuing even higher mega - profits and even more power, they're the one's who need the Shambolympics and a strong China!)
  • Last not least, Charlton Heston look a likes (sorry the real Charlton you were a bit too late for this mega marathon chariot race!) in a race against Chinese, American, British, Russian and all of the rest of the so - called "world powers" in a chariot race to end all other chariot races. The winners (and there is only one fucking winner, because honesty and TRUTH will eventually, always triumph against the corrupt, dishonest, perverse, greedy, power - maniacs that dictate our wonderful, or not so very wonderful planet. Ha fucking ha, "hey St.Jagged which, fucking utopian paradise do you live on?" Sorry devoted followers, no answer to that question and St.Jagged is certainly not prepared to divulge where his secret Nirvana is!) will take all, Tibet, Half of Africa (only the aids free and full of natural resources part please, the rest can perish in the "Aids hell of the planet and fuck off"), Irak (don't mention the oil, psst!), Palestine and Israel or just the great kingdom of Israel including Palestinia belonging to our jewish forefathers which, belongs rightfully to all Jews worlwide and after all we survived the holocaust, so its our divine right to own fucking everything! All natural resources lying under the earths crust including mega - massive oil and gas reserves in fucking freezing Siberia, Half of South America, middle America (now we're really talking business, coca fields, heroine, cocaine, etc), the old world, the new world, in fact the winner takes every fucking thing apart from the shitholes they don't want, whats new??? Last not least, a free space trip to outer universes when the shithole called mother earth has been so destroyed and ripped apart they can then all sit their rich butts in shiny, silver space ships and all FUCK OFF!! Well that's definitely a foregone conclusion who the winner will be of that race, sorry Charlton Heston look - alikes no steroids taken or bribes offered can defeat or corrupt these corrupt muvva fuckers!!

This is real sport avid Jagged ones, none of that ol bullshit served up at the Shambolympics where you don't even know if the athletes are junked up to his or hers eyeballs or not. Remember that Chinky swimming team, "real feminine" eastern block shotputters, Ben Johnson (a true symbol of honesty and how to beat the fucking rest). The list is endless and ST.Jagged will have to satisfy his sporting cravings by certainly not watching the Shambolympics but, he will definitely turn his attention to that other great, very clean, sporting event called the Tour de France. At least you know they're all on fucking drugs which, is to a certain extent, a level playing field to coin a phrase (clever bastard!)

Tibetans and their monks, you obviously chose the perfect time to protest about your suffering and ST.Jagged offers his utmost solidarity, but however right you all are, the Shambolympics is all over in three or four weeks and your global, in the face of the rest of the world protest, will wither and die whilst the mega marketing, TV, sponsors, organisors all count their mega millions made off of the back of peoples desire to watch this corrupt affair.

You will be left alone once more to depend on the blood and martyrism of your brave few in the unfair fight against the "Big Chinky Brother" and I hope the steroids kick in and you give them some shit, but ST.Jagged must ultimately bow to the TRUTH, sad muvva fucker!

Well Jagged devotees, St.Jagged must continue his build -up to the Shambolympics and really earn his place in the "UK mens synchrone marathon wanking team" he has written enough about about this bullshit and is just about to do a training session in front of the tele supported and sponsored by viagra, Hustler porno channel, Playboy big tit porno channel, sexy underwear fashion channel and last not least, steroid hormone clean wanking powder, US licensed product (only to be taken under supervision of a hot (female) nurse dressed in kinky boots, tighter than tight string, fish - net stockings, peek - a - boo bra (revealing only juicy nipples) and a sexy nurses hat!

Get off of your fat arses and start running, walking, jumping and wanking, sporty muvva fuckers!

From St.Jagged

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