maandag 18 februari 2008

Filthy Thoughts / 18.02.08

Hi Jagged one's, guess who's back, no not fucking Slim Shady but your one and only St.Jagged.

I bet when you read the title you all thought it was a kinky, sexual orientated blog, dirty minded muvva fuckers!!

No Jagged one's, as you all know St. Jagged was recently on his hols (holidays for all new morons who read this shit, oops, look above, there's plenty of that floating around in that hole!) and whilst St. Jagged had one of his voids on holiday he thought of all of the disgusting things that he and his fellow tourists have to suffer whilst attempting to reach his or their holiday destinations.

One of them just happened to be filthy, disgusting and dirty bogs!

Well trusty readers I cannot think of anything more fucking disgusting than bogs on filling up - stations, trains, airports, aeroplanes, public places, and all other places where thousands of people converge to release their natural needs (a lá crapping and pissing) whilst travelling, going out on the town, shopping in town centres, football games, rock concerts or any other mass public pastime where we are all forced to DO IT!

Stinking mens urinals, shitty, stained, bog seats used by millions of others, womens toilets, left over tampons, disease ridden and fithy places where we humans are forced to go about our natural business. We are all exposed to these disgusting places and all suffer the same indignity.

I cannot think of anything more awful than smelling the piss of millions of other men whilst relieving the pressure on my bladder and having to stand over a urinal filled with (uugh, aagh, sorry, I'm just about to puke!)

Why do we have to endure and suffer these horrid public places of filth and crap?

Why don't we all go on a world wide protest to demand clean hygienic places for human relief and why the fuck can't the people who manage and own these shitholes (literally speaking) get their heads our of their own fithy butts and employ some cleaners to do the shitty job!

St. Jagged would gladly pay a few pence for the assurance and pleasure of crapping in a clean bog - hole.

OK, OK, here in civilised Europe (Germany, Holland, UK (ha bloody ha), Norway, Sweden, etc) we can have the fortune to be confronted with reasonably clean bogs (if your'e very, very Iucky!).

When St.Jagged thinks about other places on the planet, he just freezes at the thought of going on holiday there. Indian and African public bogs, oh my fucking God! Arabian, Russian, and other eastern European countries, Italy, Spain, Greece, etc, just the thought of having the collie wobbles (diahrrea for the none Brits amongst you) in those places, oh hot and running shit!!

Don't they have any respect for one of the utmost, fundamental human requirements!!

Floods of stinking human wastage, used dirty bog paper, and other disgusting leftovers floating in these horrendous places, please help me, I just wanna stay home!!

Recently on TV pictures were shown of six million Chinese stuck at various train stations for days on end, just imagine how those places of human disgusting wastage looked like, they're bad enough in normal times!!

Think of the summer holidays when millions of tourists jump in their lovely air - conditioned coaches and travel to Spain. Italy or wherever and decide to unload their bottled - up wastage at motorway service stations.

The toilets remind you of sewer plants and stink no differently.

"Oh I feel so sorry for the ones that come behind us and have to endure our putrid, stinking wastage, hopefully I'm first on the bog, fuck the rest"!!

St.Jagged feels especially sorry for the female specimens of the human race in such circumstances, at least we men can piss in the fresh air and acidise the floor with rivers of alcholised pee. That's fucking luxury compared to standing in the queue behind 300 other females dying to drain their bowels on 3 toilets!! Fuck on you other male specimens, fresh air and no east winds blowing against us (otherwise pissy on the shoes!!).

Devoted Jagged readers I hope you are all not just about to start your dinners before reading this dastardly blog about shit and crap, etc! But I felt it was necessary to have a major rant about the state of public conveniences generally and the authorities or people that manage or own them.

St. Jagged forget to mention "public bathrooms in the USA"(Americans can and never will be able to speak correct English, TOILETS are what they're called, bastardisers of the English language!!) well I think there are a couple of famous Brits who are happy with the standards of male "Public Bathrooms"around the San Francisco area, fuck on George Michael, you really found your heaven on earth!!

Anyway to more serious matters, next time you mob are thinking about travelling to those places who don't give a shit (oops, sorry about the pun!) about their public places of necessary evils, think twice and join St. Jagged in Germany, Holland, Scandinavia or in those countries where such places are generally treated with at least a bit of respect.

St.Jagged has travelled enough and seen the shittiest of shit holes (excluding the shittiest of shit holes in Asia, Eastern Europe, although St.Jagged had a couple of revolting experiences in Yugolsavia once!!) where human beings leave their trails of excrement and other disgusting things and St.Jagged definitly doesn't want that anymore (oh fuck it, I'm going to a mega rock concert in Germany this year, oh well it's Germany, not to much German beer and bratwursts then! fuck on you Krauts!) so St.Jagged will be staying in safe waters and not up to his fucking neck in other peoples left - overs.

By the way, all you people who work in offices, factories and other such places, don't fucking forget to toilet brush those brown stripes away after releasing a load of canteen shit food!!

St.Jagged has just let a fart go and can feel something rumbling in his stomach, time to leave you beloved Jagged one's and make a bee line for my own, super - duper, hygienically clean bog.

Your poor muvva fuckers who have booked your sunshine holidays in far off uncivlised countries, beware of the truth (the truth, once more that mysterious word!) and crap in the open, if possible, otherwise the cockroaches might bite your poor muvva fucking arses off!!!

Stinky greetings from St.Jagged and his team of Merry farters

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