ATTENTION, ACHTUNG, VERY IMPORTANTE NEWSFLASH!!!!Devoted Jagged one's, here is a shock announcement!!!
ST. JAGGED AND HIS MERRY SHAGGERS ARE FORMING AN ANTI - POLITICAL PARTY CALLED:
THE BACK STABBING, LOONYBIN, STRAIGHT (Jacket) ANTI -POLITICAL PARTY
This anti - political party is free for all devoted Jagged one's and it stands left of the right and right of the left, meaning you can all join and vote in any direction for St.Jagged and his merry ol bunch of Shaggers (no, we're not sheepshaggers, just normal shaggers!).
We will represent your jagged opinions in parlament and fight for your rights without corruption, greed, power and all of the other shit that other political parties represent.
Apply for membership forms through this crappy blog - site and become a (free) member of the Jagged party for anti - politics. We can assure you the party stands only for truth, freedom of opinion, the right to piss in the wind and against the wind and most important of all, the right to take the piss out of every other sane (or insane!) politician on the planet.
JOIN THE JAGGED ARMY NOW AND RECEIVE YOUR FREE INFO - BROCHURE ABOUT OUR ANTI - POLICIES , ANTI - CORRUPTION, ANTI - GREED, ANTI - TOSSERS, ANTI - BRITNEY SPEARS AND ANTI ALL OTHER WANKERS DIRECTIVES AND VOTE, VOTE, VOTE FOR:
THE BACK STABBING, LOONYBIN, STRAIGHT (Jacket) ANTI -POLITICAL PARTY
Anyway Jagged one's, now to the real point of this fab, fab and very fab, fucking blog.
Napolean once called the Brits a nation of shopkeepers, well he was right, but due to evolution and the multi - culti revolution St. Jagged has put his mind to the subject, SHOPKEEPERS in the UK.
ST. Jagged has just returned from a blitz journey to his homeland and before he left on this blitz - trip (thats Kraut by the way for BLITZ as in BLITZKRIEG, linguistic morons amongst you!) he was advised by the one and only ALI G. to renew his passport because the UK had become a melting pot filled with different races and colours.
St.Jagged took his advice and he suggested I should take either an Indian, Polish, Pakistani, Azarbazjahni (sorry about the spelling, St Jagged only speaks and writes perfect in 500 languages, and that one is not one of them! big -headed muvva fucker!) Sri Lanken, Icelandian, (home of my favourite screaming fucking nutcase, Bjork or whoever, dopey bitch who conquered the pop world with her utter, utter madness) West Indian, Mexican (no Ali G, they're only permitted in the USA and not the UK!) Turkish, Iraq (K) ian, Iranian or eventually a real British Passport, surprise, surprise!
I told big dick AlI G to go and fuck himself and fuck that Egyptian billionare, owner of the worlds most famous football team after Kevin and his mighty midget Newastle Utd wankers of course, Fulham FC and Harrods (real British heritage that one!), Mr Personality, mega - rapper, Mohammed Al Fayed himself and wannabee TRUE BRIT! (Ali G your pisstake was brilliant, congrats, a membership form from THE BACK STABBING, LOONYBIN, STRAIGHT (Jacket), ANTI - POLITICAL PARTY is winging it's way to you!)
Anyway, back to the serious blog, I dared to enter the UK with, shock - horror, a real BRITISH passport, fuck on you real holders of real BRITISH Passports!
After living abroad for so many years and returning many times to my natural birthplace, I, St Jagged, find myself drifting further and futher into a mega - multi - culti dilemma.
I look at my natural skin and discover a pale, wrinkled, whitey - pink colour. I think back to my wonderful days of growing up in the UK (really fucking wonderful, divorced parents, father fucked off, left poor mother to care for ST. Jagged and his whitey - pinkish bruvver, well that's another blog to tell you all on another day!) and think is this really the same place?
Well geographically it is, the UK might be shrinking due to erosion and the environmental pollution, but there are certainly no whitey - pinkey people left in Napoleans shops, filling up stations, fish and chip shops, Harrods (thankyou Mohammed!), grocery stores, etc, etc.
All I see are multi - culti people from different countries, creeds, colours and religions smothering the country and growing at a rate where ST. Jagged started to think, "where are all of the whitey - pinkey people now (OK, clever shit, muvva fuckers, Poles, Czechs, Bulgarians, Rumanians, Russians, etc, are reasonably whitey - pinky of colour, St. Jagged knows that, but they certainly don't speak the same fucking lingo as St.Jagged does!) and what is happening to the whitey -pinky race that was around when St. Jagged once was a whitey -pinky, horror kid".
The TRUTH (here we go again, that fucking WORD!) is, ST. Jagged thinks we are a dying whitey - pinky race. Maybe evolution (as Darwin, the whitey - pinky evolutionist once confirmed, "only the strong will survive".) has proved Napolean correct, but with one minor (or major) fucking correction, the Brits are a nation of shopkeepers, but fuck me, they certainly ain't the same colour as they use to be!!!
Maybe St. Jagged should have listened to ALI G, when he suggested that an Apache Passport would be OK to enter the UK, Apaches are in the middle as far as colour goes (red, by the way, for all of you yellow coloured, ignorant General "last stand" Custer supporters) and I could have blended more into the present multi - culti background without feeling like a fucking stranger in my own homeland!
Please, all "NEW, so called, multi culti, BRITS", the UK is shrinking anyway so please go easy on us whitey - pinky original Brits, leave us at least some space to breath before you smother the place with all of your multi - culti colours.
OK, different colours bring pyschodelic, reggae, international and rapping vibes to the UK and whitey - pinks are pale, dull and mainly piggily - ugly. But the UK did once belong to a race of whitey - pinky shopkeepers and St.Jagged feels its a shame that the whitey - pinky ones are being rapidly sent to the whitey - pinky - piggy homes in heaven and leaving their traditions, cultures, heritages, fish and chip shops (Chinese fish and Chip shops, fuck off, what is the UK coming to), and shops in general to a new brand of multi - culti, coloured Brits.
Maybe we whitey - pinky Brits, should make a General "last Stand" Custer last stand and fight for our right to exist in our own homeland. Start a colour war and all become blue eyed, blond, albino fucking Nazi's, but that would be oh so racist, now that would'nt do, would it?
"NO ST.JAGGED, UNFORTUNATELY, IF YOU WANT TO SEE MANY MORE WHITEY - PINKY PEOPLE, YOU MUST EITHER ENTER THE REALMS OF THE PIGGY HEAVENS AND NOT VISIT YOUR HOMELAND, OR MAYBE EVEN YOU CAN JOIN THAT WHITEY - PINKY, MEGA - RICH, RATBAG, SIR RICHARD BRANSON ON ONE OF HIS JOURNEYS TO THE OUTER UNIVERSE AND BE DEVOURED BY A MASSIVE "BLACK FUCKING HOLE" (Black, who's a fucking racist, not the one and only ST.Jagged, no way!)
Devoted Jagged Edge lovers, St.Jagged begs you all, don't forget to apply for your fabulous, glossy, multi - colour info - package regarding:
THE BACK STABBING, LOONYBIN, STRAIGHT (Jacket), ANTI -POLITICAL, PARTY
(VOTE, VOTE, VOTE!!)
As you can all read a BLITZ - TRIP to the ol UK didn't do ST.Jagged much good at all, but he is convinced that with all of your support (and the mega - trillion donations of your much needed bucks, a lá Hilary and that dark coloured, whitey - pink Baraka guy) he will win the next general election and support Napolean in his statement that Britain once, really was a nation of whitey - pinky shopkeepers, a long, long time ago (fuck on you whitey - pinky, piggy, muvva fucking shopkeepers!).
Goodbye and snort, honk, snort, from ST. Jagged and his merry (whitey - pinky) shagging, snorters!
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