zondag 2 maart 2008

Plastic Insanity in L.A.

Dear Jagged one's, St Jagged has a problem, I've just had a fucking "lip job" and I can't sip my tea, everybody say aahh!!
No, avid and true addicts of St.Jagged masterpieces, I was only joking, but I definitly won't be giving blow jobs in the future, Gorge Michael I'm sorry, St.Jagged is straight anyway, pussies beware!!
The TRUTH (oh here we fucking go again, that word!) is, I had to suffer (St.Jaggeds spouse
wanted to see the programme but I told her, I love her the way she is and it's not necessary to have her lovely bulges removed!) an hour of watching a documentary over, guess what, braind dead arseholes in the great and wonderful metropole of L. (plastic shithole) A. in the great USA having tons of plastic shoved into their over sun - tanned, astral bodies.
Also having tons of shit (fat actually!) sucked out of their bodies because they would rather pay billions of dollars to quack, plastic surgeons than go to the gym, reduce their food intake, suffer a little bit or just accept the fact that they are just getting fucking OLD! (don't mention that word in Beverly Hills, Hollywood or the surrounding areas of the multi - millionare, super star playgrounds).
Ageing, ugly, sagging tits, drooping bums, sex handles, fatty bellies, small dicks, big noses, elephant ears, bald heads, crooked teeth, grey hair, untanned bodies, wrinkles, saggy necks, celluloid thighs, baggy chins and all of the rest of human ailments can be cured (if your wallet is FAT enough!) in the great and wonderful metropole of L.A. Bollockswood, Beverly Hills and surroundings.
The reporter filmed bent and crooked quack surgeons earning trillions of crooked bucks off of their clientel and they pathetically explained to the reporter that "they were only working for the sake of humanity".
What! fuck off you greedy, lying bastards! You're just ripping off your rich, famous and braindead clientel and filling your already overfilled plastic - sacks (oops sorry about the pun, but thinking about it, St.Jagged could do with having his plastic sacks removed from above his weary TV eyes) with even more crookedly earnt bucks.
Don't try and kid St.Jagged with your bullshit, and those brain - dead morons you have as clients should dedicate their disgusting, made - over, plastic - crap bodies to Nazi - regimes for experiments and research into developing the "Master Race" or "robot cloning", whatever!
Come on Jagged one's how pathetic are these pratts who spend trillions of bucks to satisfy thier own vain, sad and very miserable efforts to impress everybody and show - off their synthetic bodies to the rest of the world, "look at me I'm so beautiful", FUCK OFF morons!
OK, plastic surgery for those unfortunate to have damages caused by fire, disformity (the elephant man would have loved L.A.!) accidents or freaks of nature, St.Jagged has no problem at all, in fact St.Jagged supports the great work being done for these unfortunate people.
But these wannabee Schwarzenggers, Victoria (plastic tits) Beckham, Cher, Sophia Loren, Wacko Jacko (well he's really God's gift to nature and ageing gracefully, sad muvva fucker!) and the rest of the arseholes in the shiny, plastic, glamour world, paving the way forward for the rest of us "little people"to get rid of their money and shove it up the arses of these over -rich quack surgeons, all in the name of "BEAUTY", get a fucking life arseholes!
St.Jagged would rather become ugly, aged, wrinkly, grey haired, going bald, saggy arsed and satisfied that nature is taking it's natural course and living like nature intended us to.
The morons over there in "glamour land" are welcome to their tons of plastic being poked into their brainless - dead bodies and should have it all well and truly, poked right up their arses!
To grow old gracefully, live reasonably healthy, enjoy one anothers extra bulges and find the inner sanctuary of love (real love, not the plastic shit in shiny, happy holly - bollockswood) is TRUE happiness and thats what we humans should be striving for.
Silicone Valley my arse, shove pins in their silicone tits and let them smother their plasticy world with tsunamis of the crap and may they all drown happily ever after, fucking Amen.
Well my beloved and true readers, this is St.Jagged signing off from L. (fucking) A. where I'm just about to be put to sleep and have an operation to extend my dick to elephants size (they promised me, If I cant get it hard anymore they would supply me with elephant size viagra pills for the rest of my very sad life, poor wife! Also if I had problems walking with my elephant size dick, they could turn me into a giant, black, 8 foot tall basketball player, the wonders of modern surgery!!).
Goobye bye from St.Jagged and his Jagged Plastic Ono Band (ex band from John and Oko (John and Oko, ex Beatle and Japanese singing wonder, who the fuck are they!) for the younger, not yet wrinkled and grey readers of these fabulous works of superior art!)

1 opmerking:

jeffy zei

Hey St Jagged, Stumbled upon your blog(s) !! Wow, what a collection you got here man. Will be back later. Want to read more of your crap.