maandag 27 april 2009

Talibans, Mopeds, Kilts and Afro Style Boat People, whatever fucking next?

You've all missed me, aagh, nevermind St.Jagged's back once more from his universal cyber travels spoofing it up with a load of demented, braindamaged, satirical maniacs over on the ($200.000 advertising costs, The Spoof please send cheque or credit card details to St.Jagged c/o Lehman Bros, in a seething, stinking sewer pipe underneath Wallstreet, NY, USA, recently renamed Barack Obama's Holiday Home, Black as Black, Whiter than White U-nited S-lave A-rmy).

We've had non - corrupt (my arse!) elections in India and Zuid Afrika (Zulu-land for the ignorant amongst you), invasions of Pakistan by the Taliban wishing to seek a new homeland because they're sick of living in caves and driving their mopeds over mountains whilst keeping the modern, armed with weapons of destruction, allies at bay with their sophisticated weaponery, baseballbats, ancient first world war enfield rifles and sharp scissors for cutting the balls off of their unfortunate prisoners of war!

OK, OK, lets give the "muy pobres" a mention, they know you're there but the world powers would just prefer to ignore you, hope you all perish in another useless civil war (very important, they have to sell their weapons to someone!) and just let the modern world develop on its own without them trying to enter it illegally (boat people, fuck me, shoot the muvva fuckers or feed them to the white sharks!) and sponge off of their welfare systems! Whatever next, renicarnate Jesus!!

China, well the'ye just offered to buy Scotland (St.Jagged has just had to calm his ol hardening WAN-KIN-DIK down because he thought him being a Chink himself, could wear a kilt, get pissed on Scotch everynight and tell ol St.Jagged in perfect Scottish to "fuck off Laddie," dream on WAN-KIN-DIK before you become a Scottish/Chink St. Jagged would rather cut your sad balls off and eat them instead of Haggis!), Wales and Iceland, turn them into their colonies, drink their whisky, save their banks, hot geysers and turn them all into luxury holiday camps for the next generation of multi - millionaire Chinks who need a bit of R & R.

Well Jaggedone's, StJagged could write books about the shit going down and St.Jagged didn't even mention Israel or the Nazi's, next time maybe!

Good news was also available this week, a strange German couple dumped their kids in an Italien pizza restaurant, run off and left their Bambinos in the arms of a huge Italien "Big Mamma." "Good news you all cry," well Jaggedone's the bambinos are a lot better off with the huge Italien Mamma than being stuck with their junked up, stoned, alcoholic and very sad parents, fuck on Italien "Big Mammas" they really know what it's like to be real parents!

St.Jagged is cybering back and forward between his "Spoof" nutter colleagues for a short session of complete and utter madness and British insanity, and will be back very soon for more updates of misery, shit hitting the fans and happy abandoned Bambinos in the arms of real "Big Italien Mammas" laughing, smiling and enjoying a bit of love, care and affection which every Bambino needs (soft arse St.Jagged!!)!

Arrivederci and chou bambinos from St.Jagged and his homophobic, dressed in a kilt, Chink/Scot very hard, WAN-KIN-DIK!!! Hoots Man!

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