donderdag 7 mei 2009

Shocking Newsflash for all non Gays and non-Lesbo Catholics (the 2 of you)

Jaggedone's this newsflash just reached the St.Jagged's headquarters from the Jaggedone over at the CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) headquarters (fucking confused, so is St.Jagged, me myself and I, Schizo bastards!) and St.Jagged and his hardening WAN-KIN-DIK thought it would be of interest to all straight Catholics around the planet.

You are about to lose 75% of your flock (no, not the sheepshaggers amongst you!) in other words the Gay/Lesbian catholic community are fucking off to form their own religion. Well fucking good riddance say's anti-religious St.Jagged and me ol Chinese Wanker, WAN-KIN-DIK.

Jaggedone's please read with care and if you feel in anyway associated with this newsflash, go and shoot yourselves or pray for forgiveness and redemption!

Read with pleasure the following and very shocking newsflash from the Jaggedone over at the Spoof (you know where):

Gay & Lesbian rights groups are abandoning the Catholic church and forming their own global religion called "We are the only natural sons and daughters of God, Amen and fuck the rest especially if their not."
The reason for this shock, global announcement by all straight Gays and Lesbians is the continuing, blasphemous associations with gay and paedophile priests within the Catholic church, they wish to have nothing to do with such a bunch of perverts (what!!).
Their message to the non-gay world is: We are the true children of God, our way of life and sexual orientations are the natural way and time will prove that being gay is the only way to find God (who?). Catholic priests and other religious representatives who practice their perverted acts behind the cloak of religion will burn in hell along with all other practisers of perverted sexual acts.
The elected Pope of the new global all gay religion his right honourable Julian Bum-Basher sent the following message to the rest of the shocked non-gay world from his cathedral in downtown San Francisco on the sacred day of all gays, the original Gay Parade in surprise, San Francisco:
"Brothers and Sisters we are the true children of God (who?) our way of life will prove that sustainable life given to us by the Almighty and his Prophets is the only natural way to heaven (via Amsterdam). We will prove that in the evolutionary process only the strongest survive and all other weak sinners will perish."
"We are rapidly gaining in numbers so go forward on your crusades of infiltrating the impure hetro/non-gay ruling world of politics, religion and education and fuck everybody who is doubting, including vulnerable teenies and Imo's. Prove to them the gay way is the only way, also condemn those perverts in the Catholic Church for tarnishing our pristine reputation."
"God has told me and my prophets, go gay, enter me (backwards) and I will open the pearly gates to heaven for the only true Children of God."
Pope Benedict XV1 on hearing of this devastating split in his very perverted church rapidly sent an Email to God (who?). He asked for forgiveness and redemption for his flock and rapidly defected over to the muslim faith, becoming the new Iman at the blue Mosque in straight, downtown Riyadh leaving his flock to face the wrath of a rapidly becoming and very camp, God (who?).

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