God alias Mother Nature speaks to St.Jagged, tells him to stop fucking about and divulge the real Ten Commandments!

Mother Nature alias God

God alias Mother Nature

God alias God alias Mother Nature!

Jaggaloonies, St.Jagged has a problem, GOD (who?) no not one of them false Gods in people's churches and fantasies, but the real one!

No Allah's, Buddhas, Hindu's, Christian Gods or whoever, these are seperatist gods created by mankind to exercise power over others!

This God is the real God, actually he or she has another name, Mother Nature!

Now this God has been having a chat with St.Jagged, told him to stop fucking about, do something uselful, write something decent and stop playing with his WAN-KIN-DIK !

Now Jaggaloonies, you're all asking yourself what this shit is about, well my devoted fans (3 of them), this is about the "TRUTH" and the following Ten Commandments were given to St.Jagged by God (who?) so he could tell to you lot (he knows we're fucking Loony the three of us!)

Here we go:

The Ten Commandments according to God alias Mother Nature as given to St.Jagged (not that pretender, Moses!)

1) Thou shallt not believe in false Gods, thou shallt believe in only one God, Mother Nature.

2) Thou shallt be honest, truthful, respect the aged, weak, sick and teach your children the same.

3) Thou shallt accept the fact that Mother Nature designed man and woman to be the only true partnership in life, all other deviants of this form are not the TRUTH. They should be accepted and tolerated (nature is not perfect and humans certainly aren't) but never should they be put on the same level as MAN and WOMEN.

4) Thou shallt condemn all forms of sexual activities with children, animals, etc + those who are physically forced into such deeds. Those who perpetrate such activities are sick, should be condemned and removed from normal society.

5) Thou shallt never worship those who live only for greed and power. Thou shallt reject such philosophies, only worship those who respect and devote their lives for the good in mankind.

6) Thou shallt support a NEW WORLD ORDER, forget the egoistic direction mankind has taken, reject the system, reject politicians, religious leaders and others only interested in their egoistic power games.

7) Thou shallt support a group of non-corrupt selected leaders made up of WISE OLDER MEN and WOMEN who have had balanced, experienced lives. They only can lead mankind back to what it really should be doing, living in harmony, peace and parallel to Mother Nature.

8) Thou shallt not kill, rape, torture, or harm anyone for the sake of selfish power and greed. Those who commit such crimes should be condemned and removed from normal society.

9) Thou shallt acknowledge the fact that to create a "healthy" society one needs control. This control should be exercised by controlling bodies appointed and funded by the people. The laws they are required to implement should be based solely upon human decency, respect for one another and nature including all species. These laws and regulations shallt be determind by the non-corrupt, selected leaders made up of the WISE OLDER MEN and WOMEN.

10) Thou shallt believe in the good of mankind and reject false evil (evil is a human creation). All financial, natural, technological, scientific , etc, resources created by mankind should be re-invested solely for the good of mankind and not egoistic projects of which are valueless to mankind.

No man, woman, child should ever starve have to die of thirst, curable sicknesses or be made forcibly homeless through wars, conflicts, etc.

God/Mother Nature has spoken and so be it!

If mankind rejects these commandments the world will end in a self-made apocalyptical disaster whilst Mother Nature will continue without the HUMAN RACE!

Fuck me, St.Jagged has just woke up from his nightmare and what the shit has he been writing?

Jaggaloonies it wasn't St,Jagged, just the hand of God (who?), I swear to tell the TRUTH and nothing but the TRUTH, My Sweet Lord, Jesus, it was a bad dream!!

Any comments or solidarity on the bullshit above mail to L.Johnson@hetnet.nl serious or otherwise!

Chou bambinos, see you all in Utopia!

HO, HO, HO, Santa Jagged is about to spread his Xmas greetings to his Jaggaloonies!

Hetro Santa Jagged enjoying Christmas at last!

Evil Santa Claus not enjoying Christmas but the rest of the year!

Jaggaloonies it´s nearly there, Christmas, in all of it´s glory and as you all know Santa Jagged hates the bullshit!

But Santa Jagged has got a couple of surprises for my Loony following, my dead goldfish, mingy flea bitten mutt, skinny starved cat called POSH and me ol slave, mate and Chinese hero the one and only "Meaty, throbbing WAN-KIN-DIK" and his earthquake damged, one wheeled rickshaw, "pull you lazy bastard!!"

Well this masterpiece was first issued over at that infamous satiricial site called, well you all fucking know, THE SPOOF!

It´s the first of many relating to the "Chrissy Crap Bullshit" so fucking enjoy it:

Father Christmas alias Santa has given a world-wide exclusive interview from his Igloo somewhere in melting Greenland wishing to clear all doubts about his sexuality!

Santa invited Bizarre reporters from the Sun but they were to busy chasing Cheryl Cole and Jordan so Jaggedone decided to send his intrepid CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) reporter, WANKIN WALRUS (son of the Icelandic Banker "B(j)orn Korruptasson and BJORK, very screwed up Icelandic Singer) to the press conference, here his report:

"I Father Christmas am not a Paedophile, never was and never will be, in fact I'm TRISEXUAL!"
"I do love Kiddies bouncing on my lap and admit sometimes having hot flushes between my thighs but this is only due to my appearances in warmer countries."

"Actually, over the last 2000 years Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer and me have had several love affairs. In the dark, lonely days in my igloo we often find comfort and certainly need the body warmth."

"I also love my male Dwarfs, we kill time between January/December and packing presents by having kinky Gay sessions, but now I'm getting too old and bending so low has become a problem!"

"At Christmas time I become hetro and look forward to kissing, bedding and shagging half-pissed Mummies before I leave to go back to my daily life in the Igloo, HO, HO, HO!"

Frozen stiff, intrepid CIA reporter, Wankin Walrus, has relayed this special Santa "Outing" to the Spoof so Mums and Dads don't have to worry about sending their Kiddie-Winkles to Santa this year!

PS: Wikipedia definition of TRISEXUAL = Hetro + Homo + Beasto!

There you all go Jaggaloonies, Santa Jagged at his most pervy, kinky and look after those Kiddies!!

HO.HO,HO FROM SANTA JAGGED, see you all again before Chrissy, evil bastards!

George Bush makes comeback and the world nears 3rd world war!

Satan love's Italy and George!!

George loves Satan and Italy!!!

Ja, Ja, Ja, my beloved Jaggaloonies, he's landed, St.Jagged is home!

He's been to Berlin, the outer cyber universe, between his ears (wax an all) and now St.jagged is back for a short visit to throw some shit at the fans (NO, not my fans, real fans!)

Let ol St.Jagged tell you all the latest, WAN-KIN-DIK has starred in a western parody over on the http://www.thespoof.com/ as leader of a Chink 300 Spartan army, a superhero, got married, stopped wanking , got divorced and now he's back pulling St.Jagged in his rickshaw (where he belongs, slave bastard!), worth a read actually!

A goat was the only candidate to compete with President Kazair in Afghanistan, so they gave Kazair the title, cut the goats balls off and sent them to Obama!!

Crucifixes have been banned in Italien schools, Swastikas, stars in half circles (Islamic symbol), white/black power symbols, hammer and sickles, jewish stars, etc, are all allowed!

Last not least, Crucifixes hanging upside-down, Anti-Christ, Devil, Satanic symbols no problem, but no fucking Catholic crucifixes in Italian schools, MAMA MIA, Jesus will be spinning on his cross!!

Last not least, here's a Spoof to tickle your fancies about our fav ex-President, Georgie Porgie Bush, have a laugh at this crap:

George Bush is alive and kicking especially after the latest gubernatorial races showed support for the ex=President and his Republican party!

Dissatisfaction with Obama over the economy, his colour, losing the Olympic bid, has lead many Yanks to believe, "Georgie wasn't that bad after all!"

"He won the war in Iraq, topped Saddam, kicked that bastard Bin Laden into exile, bombed the crap out of the Taliban, demolished those ugly Twin Towers in NY, was demented, docile and a born fucking idiot but still better than ol clever clogs, Obama!"

Coloured people in the US, Tony Blair, Margaret Thatcher, Putin, Benjamin Netanyahu, Robert Mugawe, etc, are also rallying behind George once more quoting, "we need more men like

George, blind, deaf, dumb and stupid, but a real Christian Yank at heart, aagh!"

Meanwhile, George, still in demented rehab, quoted, "I love you, God bless America, my ol buddies Bin Laden, Ghaddafi, Susan Palin (fine blow job if ever there was!) Bono, Adolf, Stalin, Mussolini, Mugave, Pinochet, Idi Amin........"

The nurses caring for George quickly rushed him back into his straightjacket and Hannibal mask, staunch Republican and real Californian, Arnie Schwarzenegger, gave the following statement on behalf of George, "no hasta la vista BABY!"

Well there you go Jaggaloonies, that's it for today, St.Jagged will be back soon with some more very "Jagged Truths" greetings from WAN-KIN-DIK, just whiplashed the bastard, tied him up , handcuffed him, life is a bitch and can get very HARD!!

Adios Amigos!!

Obama, nobel peace prize my butt! St.Jagged's reply, PUKE, PUKE, and even more PUKE!!!

Real "Nobelllie Pizza Prize" winner Bollack O-Mama

Pukes on Obama and his crap prize

and makes ST.Jagged PUKE, PUKE, PUKE!

Well "Jaggaloonies" the absloute summit of world hypocrisy has just been revealed, Obama and his peace prize, my fucking arse, St.Jagged even deserves it more, God (who?) told me so!

They can stick it up their slimy butts and afterwards flush it down their Norwegian bogs!

In fact St.Jagged was so devastated at not even being nominated alongside our new "Messiah" he puked all over his Pizza and came up with the following snipe!

Proof that the world is so full of crap and bullshit and those who run it are just a bunch of hypocritical crapheads, here it is, greetings to Napoli!

Originally written on the Spoof site, and misunderstood as usual!:

Napoli's most famous pizza baker, Bollacka O-Mama, has just won the world's most coveted and very prestigious "Nobelli Pizza Prize" on a Norwegian oil Rig in the North Sea!

The prize was handed over by Exon's blond, buxom, pigtailed, Viking, Norwegian beauty Queen, Elfrida Visoilstrom and Neopolitan pizza baker, Bollacka O-Mama, was so overwhelmed by the North Sea waves he puked over the side during the ceremony!

Bollacka had just devoured one of his famous "Tuna Fish very oily" specielle pizzas and couldn't keep it down, "MAMA-DE MIA THESE FOOKING WAVES, UUGH!"

The rest of the Norwegian oil rig crew joind Bollacka in a solidarity movement and also puked in unison over the side, unfortunately the helicopter crew which flew Bollacka to the rig were underneath at the time, pizza puke extravaganzie, BELLA!

As for Exons Viking beauty queen, Elfrida Visoilstrom, she heaved to the left but avoided an embarrasment by puking down her very tasty, heaving cleavage, blushing accordingly!

The Norwegian oil rig were very proud to be hosts of this prestigious ceremony putting that other "NOBEL" bent and very hypocritical prize giving ceremony to shame!

As Bollacka O-Mama was About to leave the oil rig with his prize of 200 lousy Norwegian Krona stuffed tightly in his puke stained pizza-baking apron he issued the following statement:

"I, Bollacka O-Mama and my Mama ama so proud to be heere on dis ere oily rig and receivey my precia from Nobelli Norway I'e hopey that the mondia will never forghetti mia et mia fabulosi pizzas, ARRIVEDERCI BELLAS, et may I never comie back to dis ere shitoli!"

As his helicopter took off, Bollacka O-Mama, still feeling very fucking pukey, sprayed the rest of his oily "Tuna fish Speciellie" all over the waving crew, Bella Norway mucho Nobellie!!

And the passing seagulls picked up the "PEACES!"

Another proof that St.Jagged is a distorted, raving, Nutter, lop-sided genius, want's the Noble prize desperately and the bucks, but his ol mate and trusty slave, WAN-KIN-DIK, nodded his head in disbelief so St.Jagged kicked him in the balls!

My WAN-KIN-DIK is now recovering from the injury and will sue that bastard St.Jagged for every penny he owns!

Bad fucking luck WAN-KIN-DIK, I'm fucking broke!

WAN-KIN-DIK got on his knees and begged for a bullet in the back of his head and a piece of Bollacka O-Mama's oily pizza to take with him!

Arrivederci Balla's!

The story continues!

US cause lunar explosion searching for ICE, ICE, BABY at a cool $79 million!

Obama wins Nobel peace prize, but nobody knows why! maybe the Ku Klax Clan can provide an answer, BLACK POWER!!

Maybe Israeli Alien's can provide the answer why Obama won the Nobel peace prize they know all about it, ask the Palestinians, SHALOM!!

Hey "Jaggaloonies" as you all know St.Jagged is a peaceful, non-ranting, loveable Grandad but sometimes things happen on this planet (and outside) whereby St.Jagged just has to "blow a fucking fuse" and tell my beloved "Jaggaloonies" the nasty fucking TRUTH about the people who run this shithole and their egoistic, selfish doings!!

This time it's the fab US once again, fucking again and again (will they ever learn? no!).

Today, 09.10.2009, the US exploded 2 rockets on the moon, costing $79 million!! What grand reason do they need to blast so much money away onto the Lunar surface? Yes, ICE ICE BABY, FUCKING ICE!!

Hold it a second, is St.Jagged watching the wrong film here?

The US have a grand debt of $11,9 TRILLION dollars and it's growing by the second!

The US pay an annual $412 BILLION on interest payments (tax payers money of course!)!

The US caused the financial meltdown, high unemployment and even more misery!

3/4 's of the world's population live in wretched poverty have no clean water, no food, no decent housing, etc, etc!

And the fucking US go and play SILLY ARSES on the moon for an ICE COOL $79 MILLION!!

If you added the whole amount of money that the US and other moronic states have blown away on their pathetic space programmes you could probably feed the world's population for a hundred years, provide them with clean water, reasonable housing, medical help, build decent infra -structures, etc, etc, and still have money left fucking over!!

WHO IS FUCKING MENTAL HERE THE US OR BIN LADEN?!!

Plus the financing of their useless conflicts in Vietnam, Korea, 2 x Iraq, Afghanistan not to mention their support of Nazi Israel and other minor conflicts since WW2!

Costing not only $trillions to finance but also costing the human tragedy of millions of innocent's murdered by the US war machine!!

Hitler was like a naughty schoolboy compared to that mob!!

Jaggedone's if the US would have used their power in a sensible fashion there would have been no need for many of the conflicts mentioned, the route of all EVIL is not only money but pure fucking ignorance and the US monster has shown enough of that ever since Hitler departed!!

When St.Jagged see's such "LUNARCY" as in LUNAR (for the less cryptic of you!) there's only one thing St.Jagged wants to do, grab his ever trusty WAN-KIN-DIK and book on the next flight to fucking Saturn singing that Rolling Stones classic "HEY, HEY YOU GET OFF OF MY CLOUD" and never come back!! (cloud as in just discovered new cloud rings around Saturn, get it!!).

But no, my "Jaggaloonies" St.Jagged would never leave you, he'll always be around to vomit at these fucking ARESHOLES running our planet and who puts them there, yes my Darlings, the people (but certainly not my "Jaggaloonies" never, or?)!

To top it all "The New Messiah" Obama, has won the fucking Nobel prize for peace, total "LUNARCY" and hypocrisy at it's maddest, what the fuck has he done to deserve that?

St.Jagged doesn't know, maybe we should ask a passing JEWISH-ISRAELI-ALIEN, called BLACK MOSES maybe he'll know!

Well my "Jaggaloonies" back to the day job over at http://www.thespoof.com/ a man has to live you know!!

St.Jaggeds WAN-KIN-DIK is so sore after all of the whippings he's been taking lately that he's sagging and sobbing in the corner, pushing his broken rickshaw back and forward singing "Oh happy days" by that famous black Chink opera singer TUNG-IN-PUSI, better than a rapping Ice-T on the moon anyday!

Hasta La vista Terminator Babies!

Satan's in the News as usual + his ol sidekick Adolf and Madonna is marrying her baby, JESUS!!

1) Satan in the news as ever!

2) Madonna with her "Baby" Jesus from behind!

3) Charlie manson to star as him above, only this time the real thing!!!

Here we go, here we go, here we go!!

Jaggedone's, just landed for a "Quickie" (haven't told the wife yet!!) lots has happened over the last couple of weeks, but the most fantastic thing to happen is that "Horny Grandma" Madonna is about to marry her son "Jesus" in a mega-religious experience, happening. Jesus will shed his poorly rags and suck Madonna's (no not her leather pussy!) millions away!

St.Jagged thought Jesus was an honest beggar, son of God (who?) broke the bread, healed the lepers, walked on water, recalled Dig Lazarus Dig, etc!

Well not anymore Jaggo's (new word for my loony worshippers!) Jesus has been reborn, this time as a pretty boy model, shagging the shit out of his MAMA, Madonna and has been catapulted to multi-millionaire status via the cross - ing and catwalk, "thankyou God, Dad (who?), this time around it's much more pleasant!" he prayed!

Roman Polanski has been arrested for shagging a 13 year old Lolita in Switzerland, only problem is the 13 year old is now a 105, but nobody told the Americans, who have been pursuing ol Polanski for the last 50 odd years!

They've got their man locked up in a Swiss cell and are waiting to extradite the creepy, paedophile, film maker!

When Roman is jailed he has promised to remake Rosemary's Baby and offer Charles "The Demon" Manson a role in it as Satan, to thank him for slitting open his ex-missus, Sharon Tate, lovely gesture!

Charlie Manson has accepted and promised to sacrifice 5 of his female worshippers in a Satanic ritual, removing their pussies and heads then inviting Hannibal Lector for dinner, of course, evil bastard (well he is Satan!)!

The world of politics never changes, corrupt, corrupt and even more corrupt, even Obama is stooping so low that he has to insult that "crap rapper", Keyne West, for a bit of extra publicity!

Nature keeps causing havoc, Taiwan mudslides, Australian clouds of red dust, Tsunamis, floods in the Philippines, millions destined to starve in Africa (so what's fucking new!)

Israeli Nazis refuse to move an inch on the Palestinian thing, Iran and North Korea shooting their pea-shooter rockets towards Israel and South Korea respectively, for a bit of rocket salad practice!

Yeah, yeah, Jaggo's nothing much ever changes, bullshit and bollocks on a daily basis, only St Jagged remains perfectly sane with his ol mate WAN-KIN-DIK to keep him company whilst occupying his place under a bridge in Amsterdam thinking:

"What would have happened if Hitler had won the war," I guess we'll never know!!!!

Well Jaggo's and fellow "Nutters" adios amigos from ol St.Jagged, he's heading back over to the http://www.thespoof.com/ for a bit of bantering with the other "Spoof Loonies" and keep them ol WAN-KIN-DIKS stiff and fucking hard!!!

St.Jagged pissed and "STIFF" as his ol WAN-KIN-DIK!!

German horny Frauleins boozing Viagra-Beer!

Unemployed Dildos, sagging, soogy and uselesss!!

JA, JA, those fucking Krauts again, beating the world hands down at everything, Mercedes, BWM, Bosch, Siemens, shooting penalties, winning footy world cups and now, shock, horror, fucking VIAGRA BEER!

Ja, Jaggedone's it's true, THE TRUTH even, Germans have invented a beer not only to get males pissed out of their brains, no, that's not enough, they've added Viagra and now the world will get as "STIFF" as starch and horny on the way!! (Beware mini-skirted Barmaids!!)

A Kraut in his private brewery somewhere in downtown Germany was fiddling with his Kapputer maschine, got horny, stuck his "Dickstick" in a litre of best Deutsche Pils, mixed a viagra tablet and "bobs your uncle" three hours of hot internet WAN-KIN with a blonde, buxom Deutsche Fraulein, first time in three years, oogh, aagh!!

Now Jurgen Brauer (Brewer in English!) has decided to sell his "Viagra Beer" worldwide after testing it on his very saggy workforce, they certainly "STIFFENED UP", and are now busy "Gang-Banging" their female colleagues over the lunch tables, Sieg Heil!!

Jurgen hopes he will never have "Stiff" opposition and has globally patented his beer already!!

All German males and their wives are craving for the product whilst the Dildo industry has been severly "Six Packed" sideways!

Reasons; lonely wives of beer binging German males have been buying dildo's for a bit of vibrating comfort! All they do now is top their hubbies up with Viagra Beer, their dildo's can stay dry, gather dust and only be used when he's visiting the girlfriend!!

Jurgen has already designed labels with hot, sexy, blond, buxom Frauleins whipping the sagging dicks of beer binging males and boy does it get them "HARD!"

The beer will lead Germany out of recession, become a winner (as usual!) conquer the world whilst the rest of the beer boozing world looks at Germany scoring even more penalties as the others fail miserably!

JA, JA, Jaggedone's, who really won the fucking war?? St.Jagged is off to buy a six-pack for himself and his ol WAN-KIN-DIK, see you all in 2 weeks when the "STIFFNESS" wears off!!!