Hi there fellow Jagged Edgers (me myself and me)
Well that was an eventful day, full of crap news & dodo's.
Hilary, (I didn't have sex with that man, no way, he was too busy having his dick sucked by who? already forgotten and put to bed, in more ways than one, dirty old muvva fucka) is fighting for her right (heard that one before) to become the first female president along with a gentleman from an ethnic background (coloured or black whatever you want to call it).
Well anything after the other wanker is a fresh change and at least something to write about.
After all of the cock -ups over the past 25 to 30 years the yanks had to try something new. Black, female, Chinese (good for sales in the booming Chinese economy) maybe even gay, (that's in vogue, ooh sorry, no of course not, you either have to be a catholic priest, british politician, or a youth trainer of boys sports teams to be allowed to practise your dirty deeds, no way could you become president of the oh so great and puritan USA) or Felix the cat (have you seen those porno's from Felix and crew!), Fury the wonder horse (please younger viewers please don't ask St. Jagged who the fuck Fury was, ask your Grandads or Ma's), The Lone Ranger (Oh my God no gays please, him alongside Tonton or whoever made such a pretty pair), even black Beauty could run for president these days (we have no racist views on Jagged Edge Pubs!).
Or how about those bunch of criminals locked up in San Quentin and wherever who run the joints under the guise of "The Aryan Brotherhood", tatoo's and all, well even they could do a better fucking job than George and co.
They could stay locked up and determine the future of the US without even having to leave the comfort of their cells. Preach "White Power", sell swastika tatoo's over the internet, reinvent the KKC, and even let their "coloured brother mafia groups" have the right to choose policies which, could be advantageous to the US public in general and also, to all prisoners locked up within penal system (They plead: "I was innocent and never really mean't to murder those 15 prostitutes whose blood just happened to be smothered all over the back seat of my stinking, farmers pick -up truck and by the way, don't forget the sponge when you stick 50,000 volts through my disgusting, tatooed body", sorry stolen from the Green Mile and Tom, not Uncle), for example:
1)Legalise drug trafficking from South America into the States, reinstate criminal drug barons as leading politicians or presidents in those latin countries and lock up the muvva fucking corrupt politicians who are on the payrols of the muvva fucking drug barons. That would save some money and also put the FBI out of work.
2)Legalise weed / pot smoking and have it classified as a medicine. Save even more money!
3)Free Mike Tyson out of his own personal prison, and let him become governor of NY (The big apple to those who don't know what NY is). He would instantly legalise the biting of ears, pitbull terrier warfare, rape in hotels (it wasn't me, it was my shadow, boxing!) and ban all russian prof - boxers from participating in Macdonald adverts, good on you Mike, it's not your fault, your just a victim of the "Hood".
4)Reintroduce slavery but only if the slaves come from Poland, Russia or other ex-soviet states, drowning in oil fields and mega - rich Russki fucking oil barons (isn't it strange that the world seems to keep revolving and smacking you right in the back of your muvva fucking necks, ex texas oil barons, a la Dallas and co, ha bloody ha) or Irakie muslim prisoners of war, but only from the Saddam kind, it's payback time, sons of bitches!
Anyway, I'm drifting into the danger zones and all I want to say is "respect the brotherhood" (St Jagged forget to tell his readers that he is a muvva fucking coward and of course wishes no disrespect to the brothers, creeping arsehole!) and never does he want to end up in San Quentin without his Nazi tatooes, shamrock, celtic cross and all of the other misused symbols which, you have adopted.
I suppose I could always paint myself black, be in possesion of a kilo of smack and survive that way, fuck on you "Black Brothers".
Maybe it was'nt such a good idea after all for the "Aryan Brotherhood"to become presidential candidates, mind you there is not much difference between them, good ol Georgie boy and his republican mafiosi. At least the "Brotherhood" stand up for what they are and what they are fighting for. Georgie boy lets his generals, dogs - bodies, Islamic extremists, Tony Blair (in the past tense) and the boys on the front do his fucking "dirty work".
Back to Hilary, I did not have sex with that man, I just sucked his dick (not Bill's you fucking morons).
"Ever since I caught Bill red dicked or handed, I have lost all trust in men and have become a lesbian", quote, unquote, (oh no, please, shock upon shock, the US are not ready yet for the first "gay"women president) with their puritan catholic views (don't mention paedophiles, homo's, gay priests, etc), right wing religious nutters preaching the gospel to those who don't know any better, Jehovahs witnesses, who! Black muslims, (Black Power rules ok!). 50 Cent, P diddy or Daddy, Ozzie Osbourne (he's pure clean and righteous just the same as the chemical factory which, killed 50,000 innocent indians, not red, the other coloured kind, and was covered over similar to the poisonous yellow cloud which, blanketed the area and caused such havoc, sorry Ozzie, chemicals are chemicals). Jews (we survived the holocaust and learn't from it, Palestinians beware, the Nazi's did a thorough job and we have been taught well, HH!), Oprah Winfrey (Quote, "I have been sent by God to teach you all that you are just a bunch of no - good scumbags and I, Oprah, will cash in as many bucks off of the back of your misery until I, Oprah, the great one, becomes the richest, black women in the history of womankind, forever and ever amen", OK, OK, she gives a couple of bucks to charities, so what. Ghandi didn't cash in a penny, he lived off of goats milk, his own urine and one white robe, fuck on Ghandi!), and all of the other puritan groups holding the balance in the "free world".
Please God let the other candidate win at least we junkies and pot - smokers will have freedom at last. The slave trade can be reintroduced and Irakie prisoners of war (not our black brothers and sisters, revenge will be sweet) can pick cotton, be raped and abused by their owners, make moonlight crap whisky, and pray to Allah 4 times a day.
That's it my flock of crapheads, see you later from St. JAGGED, (by the way, I have no swastika tatoo's for sale, only a four leaf shamrock stuck up my arse, where it will stay for the rest of my Celtic days).